I also brought the Swedish Bikini Team who wanted to personally wish you a Happy, Happy Birthday! They are actually singing the song you are hearing now! Aren't they talented?
Here are some very friendly German girls I found wandering in a Walmart parking lot who want to buy you a beer (or two):
I also baked this cake all by myself...I have no idea where the scantily-clad Barbie dolls came from. They weren't on this cake when I finished baking it last night. OH NO!!! They are fighting over who gets to pin the tail on your donkey!!
HAPPY F*CKING BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY F*CKING BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY F*CKING BIRTHDAY DEAR INNER VOICES!
HAPPY F*CKING BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!
Happy Birthday, Voices!
ReplyDeleteWOOHOO!
*falls down into wrestling pit taking everyone with me*
You can wrestle, MJ, but NO CAKE FARTS! Do you hear me!!!
ReplyDeleteOoh, ooh, beer and chick fights. I'll throw a slab of meat (and a few veggies for Blottie) on the grill and kick this party up!
ReplyDeleteNICE!!! I LOVE IT!!!! THABKS FOR YOU ALL AND FOR ALL A GOOD MUD FIGHT!!!
ReplyDelete*listens to hear a cake fart*
*stops back in to check out all the boobies*
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, IV...what does "Thabks" mean? I'm a little slow...or is it that you've had too many beers from those nice German girls??
ReplyDeleterandom, thabks would be thanks in sweedish.... or german depending on who is feeding me the beer at the time... or it could be that the placement of the "b" and the "n" are situated very close together ob the keynoard...
ReplyDeleteI would like to be fed something pretty. I'm English and French on one side, Polish, Czech and German on the other. No not beer. Something special.
ReplyDeleteXO
P.S. Zack, I've been told by Catscratch I spell like shit. I've tried to alert her they're just typos. She's a hard ass and relentless. Okay, I can't spell for shit. Apparently you can't either. I know! Can you believe how close all the keys are on the computer? Me either. I hear ya sista. Whoops, oh, I hear ya brotha. Cry me a river you sexy German, Sweedish, hard-ass, pistol packin', schlong wielding mamma. Whoops, papa. Oh, I could do without the gun. But you get the idea.
Bob, love ya. I like grilled red peppers, zucchini, tomatoes, onions and, believe it or not, broccoli. I'm sitting here with my plate. Honey, have any coffee!?
ReplyDeleteim off to the bar!!! wee hee!!!
ReplyDelete*skips out*
So what? You're just blowin' us off?
ReplyDeleteI bet IV gonna love all that Happy Birthday booby wrestling.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday IV
Great post RC. I think you out did mine. But that's ok, I'll forgive you this time, but next time. It will me you and me mono e mono in the mud pit. You ready for a smack down, girl! Good job with the BBQ, Bob.
ReplyDeleteOh and everyone smells like shit,opps, I mean spells like shit from time to time. Happy F*cking Birthday, I.V.
Happy birthday! I hope you're right now beginning a wonderful evening with the home folks (so to speak)!!!
ReplyDeletexo
Damn I hate cleaning this grill after a big party. Can someone pass me a slice of cake? I've got some more scrubbing to do before I can close the place.
ReplyDeleteSipping strawberry/banana smoothie waiting for Cece v RC mud wrestlin' fest. Apparently I'm the only one. Front row seat. Do you wanna know who I have my money on?
ReplyDeleteMy money is on Cec, but RC is a scrapper and can't be counted out.
ReplyDeleteI do believe Cece will kick her ass!!! RC, good luck with that!!! Wear the red dress as a distraction and keep your heels on. That's your only chance honey. No, really, I'm not kidding. Oh, and if MJ's on you back you might have a prayer in hell.
ReplyDeleteOh, also if MJ's on "your" back. Trust me honey, I'm not perfect!
ReplyDeleteAnd Bob...Hey!!!
G'day,
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Zack enjoy your day .... and also the barmaids with their jugs (of beer).
Terrific post RC. You have excelled yourself.
Cheers and beers,
Kooka.
HAPPY FUCKIN' BIRTHDAY, IV!!!!
ReplyDeletep.s. I look like that when I get naked and wrap a Swedish flag around myself.
I'm naked, have a Sweedish flag and need some coffee. Oh, and Queen Goob appears to be attached to my leg. Or my flag. I can't tell. Git.
ReplyDeleteSuz, that's my flag.....you're naked.
ReplyDeleteNeed more coffee? Here, sit down and I'll help. No, not on the leather stool that will chafe your bare bottom; over there on the couch would be best. leads a sleepy Princess to the couch
Better?
Cream or sugar, Hon?
*Wakes from princess sleep feeling a wee bit of a chill.
ReplyDelete"Hey, where the hell's my flag?!!!"
Runs to bathroom for Robyn's waitressing outfit. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, the good old days. Walks into bar and is immediately handed a tray of drinks for table 6.
"Jorge, I DON'T WORK HERE!!!"
"Poof, you do now. And chop, chop, they're good tippers."
Suze can be heard mumbling obscenities as she straightens her apron, fluffs her hair and watches as Jorge drinks the special cup of coffee Queen Goob left for her.*
Bastard.
ReplyDeleteBastard is the best obscenity you can come up with?
ReplyDeleteNope, but this is a family establishment and I'm very respectful. Hence the porn and XXX Rating.
ReplyDeleteHEY YOU!!! Loved your post. Sorry RC stomped all over it. But don't feel sad, my bouquet got like one comment. IV's!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh shit. There's always next year. My new motto is "Show Up Last, Then You Get Noticed!"
XO