10 year marker

I know you are out there. 

Yay Cec!!!

So... our Cecile is moving to Key West! Here are a few fun things she can now do when she gets there...

She will live in the the southernmost point in the continental U.S.  Just like Sarah Palin can see Russia, she'll be able to see Cuba from her backyard!

Of course, she'll be able to wine and dine at the world famous Hogsbreath Saloon

She'll be able to tour the home of Ernest Hemingway

and she can party like the locals every year during Fantasy Fest!

Congrats on the big move... we all wish you the best of luck and happiness in your new home by the sea!!!

My take on the Paula Deen thing

When I was a kid, we often called our friends names that would be considered highly offensive today. I remember saying stuff like, "Jeff, you're such a retard," or "You're a spaz."

I remember seeing signs for Oriental Restaurants. Now it is strictly Asian. Oriental is considered offensive.

You can't sing the Oscar Mayer wiener song anymore because it refers to fat kids.

I'm not saying that Paula Deen should have ever said the 'N' word, but as a person who has visited the south since the early '70's, I can tell you that it was widely used in everyday life back then. No, that doesn't make it right, any more right than seeing a picture of my pregnant mother holding a cigarette.(Of course no one knew the health implications at the time) Speaking of my mother, when she was a child in Mississippi, the public restrooms were still segregated. She used the white toilets. Does that make her racist? No. It just makes her part of a once-ignorant society. Most people grow and change as the world does. I'm sure my own mother probably used that word sometime in her past, but along the line, as the area between right and wrong became more visible, she grew and adapted. We can't always condemn people without putting things in proper perspective.

WAIT, WHAT?!?

The last post on this blog was for my birthday...in 2011?!?

I did not realize that. Obviously. Until just now when I checked back here. I ran through some of the old stuff and laughed my ass off. Why did we ever let this go? Facebook, I guess.

I DEMAND A RETURN TO THE ONION.

Wait...um...that's kind of...demanding.

Hey, guys? What's up? How about some blog posts at The Onion?

Happy Birthday Megarific!

A good friend of ours
living in SoCal
has a birthday today
she's a wonderful gal

She reads lots of books
and cooks lots of bacon
but toast is her favorite
and that's not fakin'

She gives great advice
which she's willing to share
Because deep down inside
she really does care

She works really hard
to raise a great son
She gives what she has
to make him number one

She likes to have fun
and splurge when she can
on movies or games
She's a big sports fan

And on this day
we don't miss this chance
to celebrate with Megan
we sing and we dance

A very special woman
to everyone of us
We go to the effort
to put up a fuss

So three cheers for Megan
on her special day
She is quite magnificent
in so many ways

May your bacon be crispy
and your beer taste terrific
A Happy Birthday to you
because you're Megarific!

xoxoxoxo

Ode to a Random Chick

Somewhere in Cali

lives a young lady,
Her intentions are good
not the least bit shady.

She writes lots of words
and is quite maternal,
Her addiction to Starbucks
looks to be eternal.

She's cute as the dickens
and so are her kids,
Her hysterical poems
make friends flip their lids.

Her Poetry is Stupid
and humor has no equal,
There's so much to say
she's writing a sequel.

A few weeks ago
we met her in person,
We all loved her lots
there wasn't any cursin'

She brightens our day
just knowing she's there,
Writing about poop,
ideas and hair.

On this day in June
each and every year,
We stop to celebrate
with wine, pizza and beer.

For today is the day
this Chick was born,
She still looks fantastic
not tired and worn.

All of your friends
from near and from far,
Gather here at the Onion
and sit at the bar.

We laugh and we sing
we dance and we play,
All to remember
your special birthday.

Happy Birthday Random Chick!!!

hey kylie

this is how we do it!!!

Happy Birthday Karen

Happy Birthday Dear Karen....

May your special day bring you tons of smiles and happiness...

You should start your day with a wonderful cup of tea...

With a birthday cupcake for a decadent lunch...

A glass or two of wine to start the evening....

Followed by a grand dinner at Cafe Coconut Cove...

Happy Birthday :)

Don't You...Forget About Me!

it's your birthday, leah!

we wish you all the great joys of life

smooth hair....

great good health (or hunky doctors)

warm weather & bubbles

pretty drinks

and every good birthday gift you could wish for !

happy happy birthday to you

lots of love to a fantastic lady from all of us onionites

xoxoxoxoxoxox

33?

Thirty-three posts in 2010? That's ALL? C'mon people. Let's get this together. We've got five days to plan Leah's birthday bash. Any ideas?

the new google

Smoke in the air.

After dealing with the holiday crowd, my hair smells like cigaretts.

Where The Hell Is Everyone?!?

This way?




Or...THIS WAY?




I know which one I'm voting for...

riots in the streets

after looking at that last post for so long most of the bar patrons went outside to see what else was happening and started a bit of a kerfufful. police were called in for crowd control....



feel free to continue story below or in comment box!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY IV. ENJOY THE YEAR!!! WELL NOT RIGHT THERE. WE THINK THAT'S GERMANY AND IT'S PROBABLY ILLEGAL. TAKE IT IN THE BACK BUDDY.

WITH LOVE FROM ALL OF US!

Hey, Hey, We're The Monkeys!

Okay, this bar needs some entertainment to get more people in here. I know the economy sucks, but it's livelier at Saggy Bottoms Senior Center than it is here lately!!

We're hiring The Monkeys to do a live show every Monday night. They use actual monkeys now because they've gotten so old...

Peter Tork can't find his keys or his comb...

 ...Micheal Nesmith can't get up from his chair anymore...

...Micky Dolenz thinks he's Frank Sinatra and wants to open a casino in Vegas...

...and Davey brings out his man boobs as an encore!

Who's up for Happy Hour! I sure do need a drink after seeing those MOOBS!

Megarific Monday!!!

It's Megarific Monday.... Megan's Birthday falls on a holiday so we can all hang out and celebrate together!

We'll start off the day with toast in the morning. How else could you celebrate Megarific's birthday without toast in the morning?

We all pitched in for a HUGE gift card so Megs can buy all the books she wants...

So many books her library will look like this.

We'll make sure she wins her Fantasy Football Leagues.... AGAIN!

So she doesn't have to wait in the sun while waiting for the train, a brand new parasol to bring her shade...

Since Meg's confessed to being a C+ in the last post, our next stop will be to head over to Vicky's...

... and we'll get her what every woman wants, a Bacon Bra.

And as her special day comes to an end, we'll kick back with a frosty cold beverage....

and a big slice of cake.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MY SPECIAL FRIEND
THE MEGARIFIC, MEGALICIOUS
MEGAN!

Bring your own cups day!!!

What's your cup size?

did somebody say i try to spice this place up?