Thursday, September 10, 2009

Embarrassing Moment!

When I first moved to North Carolina, the laws and regulations applying to hauling diesel fuel and driving farm tractors on busy highways were pretty lax, to say the least! My coworker, Mike, and I needed fuel, so we hooked up this ratty old trailer to our work truck and went to the gas station to fill it up with diesel. The trailer was in bad shape, it actually leaked a little fuel as it rode down the highway. We filled up and then we headed for the gas station exit which was usually pretty easy to get out of, but not this day! We sat and sat, and I started getting really pissed, I had WORK TO DO!!!
Finally, I told Mike, “Fuck it! I am going”, and I pulled out in front of this lady in an Acura. She started throwing her hands in the air and flashing her lights at me. I got pissed! I was flipping her the bird and putting my head out the window and yelling obscenities! Things calmed down, but she still looked pissed, I got an evil glare each time I looked in my rear view. We rode for a few miles in bumper to bumper traffic on a two lane road. Up ahead of us, Mike saw all of the cars turning and said, “I think we are being detoured”? I was so wrapped up in the lady behind me that I failed to notice that the line of cars was turning in to the cemetery! I had just busted into a funeral procession with a leaky tank of diesel fuel, and had flipped off one of the mourners! I worked with Mike for six more years and every time we passed a funeral procession, we both could not control ourselves, we would start laughing. To this day, I wish I could explain to that woman that we did not realize that it was a funeral! Oh my tortured life!!


k said...

young people these days have NO RESPECT!


otin said...

I was very embarrassed!

kylie said...

lucky no-one ever died of embarrassment

Leah said...

Oh lordy! That is embarrassing. Great post; it gives me an idea that we should have a series--Embarrassing Moments--from all our Wild Onion denizens.

Thanks for an excellent laugh!

*raises glass to otin*

otin said...

The sad part was, that I drove in this line and really had no idea that I was in the middle of the funeral, I just thought that the lady was mad that I pulled out in front of her!

kylie said...

hey, O
welcome to the onion!

have a drink

Megan said...


That's pretty embarrassing! But look at it this way - you probably took that woman's mind off her grief for quite some time!

Welcome to The Onion!

otin said...

Thank you guys and girls! I will have that drink!!!

Cece said...

Hi Otin,
It's me, the boss lady. I wanted to officially welcome you here. That is some story for your virgin post here at The Wild Onion. Very entertaining! We welcome you with open arms.

Suzanne said...

Aunt Cece...Alan is here and can't speak for himself, so I will pretend I'm a ventriloquist. Whoops, wait...the wee one speaks, "Oh no there aint no rest for the wicked until we close our eyes for good."

Yes, it's true, he typed that and I turned him on to that video and he's hooked. We stayed up late last night and listened to it numerous times. Like, you know, 30! That's on top of the 20 I listened to before he arrived and the 20 he listened to while I was at the park this morning. We hope to hit 200 by Monday! WE LOVE IT! Thanks. Just so you know it's the opening to his My Space page as well. What a hoot.

And Otin. Welcome my dear man. It's about time. Alan and I laughed our asses off. My dad doesn't blog, so I'll print the post and send it too him. It's too funny to keep all to ourselves.

Hi K
Hi Leah
Hi Otin
Hi Cece
Hi Megan (Alan said "Thats a painting, right?" I replied, "No, that's our Megs!")


Megan said...

Hi Suz and Alan! Okay, I'll switch it to an actual photo. You have been warned!!!!


otin said...

Hey Suzanne, I hope that you are feeling better!

Leah said...


I've missed you.

Suzanne said...


Alan read that and laughed. For some reason you all make him laugh. I guess for the same reason you all make me laugh. *Suze crosses arms and waits at bar for big reveal...* Alan isn't 21 until November so *Alan crosses arms and waits outside bar for big reveal...* Wait honey, something's happening. A red light is flashing in the distance. Alan has covered his face, but I'm looking straight into the light. "OH DEAR LORD!!!"


Suzanne said...


My darling, darling man. Thank you, but this is the honest-to- god truth, I feel like a piece of CRAP!!! My foot hurts so much I'd chew it off if I had better teeth. No, I'm not kidding. It's simply nasty. I get my all important X-rays Monday and I'm really eagar to hear the bad news. I want to know what I'm about to face in the coming months because I'm sick of trying to figure it out all on my own. I was supposed to get a hard cast again last Wednesday. I said to self, "Self, screw it." I stayed in my soft cast. What the hell was being in a hard cast for 4 days going to change on my x-rays? That's right, nothing, but it would have made my life a living hell as usual! I wasn't willing to take the risk. I'll get crap Monday from both the doctor and the cast master, but I don't care. I've decided to take a stand, and this is it, "IT'S MY FOOT DAMMIT!!!" Oh, and the really good news is I'll get to see my doctor!!! Yes, I think I'm in love with him. He's handsome, smart and most important, really, really funny. Of course you're invited to the wedding. God I hope he isn't already married. That would just suck because I don't want to be a Morman.

XO ;)

Suzanne said...


I'VE MISSED YOU TOO!!! I LOVE YOU NORMAN!!! Oh, sorry, got you confused with a Seinfeld episode.

XO ;)

P.S. Just so you know, Alan and I read lots of your blog together the other night. He enjoys you on many levels!!!

P.S.S. I introduced him to Mr. Shife today. What a hoot. We read so many posts we were back in 2007!!! Alan was so taken with one of Shife's insane quotes he typed it into his cell phone. I said "Honey, what are you doing?" He replied, "I'm recording it so I don't forget." We've laughed too hard all day about that damn quote. It's the Mount Rushmore one. If you don't recall, let me know and I'll easily refresh your memory!!!

Love you baby. XO