Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Wild Onion Thanksgiving Pot Luck

The crew at the Wild Onion Cafe is throwing a Thanksgiving Pot Luck dinner for the staff, management, and customers.

just bob will be bringing Chicken Wings
to eat while watching football

Queen Goob is in charge of
bringing the Bud Light Party Ball

For those looking for something harder,
Inner Voices will bring the tequila

Megan is charge of making the toast

Kylie can bring along the exotic durian

Cecile is preparing the Green Bean Casserole

Leah is making the stuffing

Suzanne can bring the Tofurkey

Random Chick has been working on the Turducken for over a week

... and finally Gig will be making Pumpkin Pie for dessert.

To all of our customers and friends, don't be shy...
dig in and second helpings are definitely in order.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Friday, November 21, 2008


some new folks have moved in next door. what are some good practical jokes we can play on them?!?!?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Solid Gold!

We need to liven up this place a bit. That's why I've hired the Solid Gold dancers!!

They'll make you want to boogie oogie oogie till you just can't boogie no more! Get up now! Shake that thang! Put on your head band and fake biker's gloves. Don't forget your sequined pants. Baby, you need more AquaNet!

Get down with your bad self!

The party is heating up! It's a disco inferno! People just keep dancing, dancing, dance the night away. We cannot stop them! AHHHHH!!!

The Solid Gold Dancers and Soul Train Dancers brought out the inner Go-Go Chick in both Queen Goob and Random Chick.
Queen Goob cannot believe how incredibly fabulous her hairdo is...she's in shock!

And Random Chick got herself stuck in the shower in her Go-Go boots...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

sometimes life just sucks balls. really... i mean, sweaty, hairy, ugly, fat, scrotilicious balls. 

we here at the onion know all too well about this end of the life's spectrum. there isn't a reader/contributor in this joint that doest have a story or twelve to tell about this unfortunate fact of life. i know it, you know it, your dog knows it and sometimes your gold fish knows it... so i have composed a small list of places id rather be when these events take place... i'll share mine if you share yours and perhaps it will give us an opportunity to have a new place to dream about, somebody else's dream... 


i'd rather be hanging out with my mom at natasha lake in front of our families cabin, sitting on the dock fishing... sharing a cigarette, listening to the sound of the ice tinkling in moms rum and coke and watching the sun set on the glacier across the lake.

id rather be in third gear going uphill sideways around a corner on my dirt bike in the middle of a pack of ten dudes on the south coast dirt roads of bigsur...

id rather be sitting in a hot tub over looking the ocean at the end of a hard days work.

id rather be drinking at the bar alone with no one else around but me, only the attentive but not invasive bartender and the noise from a television in the background.

i was working at a positive angle here, you dont have too, but thats what i was doing.... give it a shot you might find that doing exactly as you are doing is where you want to be... cause realistically id rather be at home on a day off relaxing, having a cold beer, eating some yummy leftovers and catching up with the planet... it just so happens that i am enjoying that pleasure this very instant.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

You Have The Power

It is possible that I may disappear from Bloggerland. I am not sure if it will be indefinitely, or just for a while. There are happenings in my life that are so complicated at the moment. Things I cannot and should not explain to all of you beautiful strangers. I didn't want to go away without granting each of you that are team writers the privilege of being administrators. This means that you have the power to invite, change and manipulate The Wild Onion as you see fit. I hope that you all will carry on in my absence. Getting to know each of you has been fun. Thank you for sharing yourselves with me.

With much love,


its time for a cruise!!!!

a free cruise for all the staff and patrons of the wild onion you say!!! yes indeed!!! what are some fun things you would all like to do on your Alaskan cruise and who else would you like to bring along???

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


some folks are having a hard time finding the wild onion... what would you give as directions on how to get here?!?!?

Friday, November 7, 2008

new sign at the cafe...

even though we are an animal friendly establishment we do have to draw the line somewhere...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


What a party that was last night, eh?

*picks up a pair of leather pants lying on the floor*

Queen Goob! Are these yours?

Things somehow look a little less doom-filled today...I'm optimistic. There's a lot of work to do.

Let's get busy!

P.S. Hey "W"! Get the hell outta the White House, you Dillweed!!!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Overload Par-tay!

Okay, we've heard the nasty ads...

Listened to the crap...

Laughted at the parodies...

Tried to make the best choice...

Cast our votes (YOU BETTER VOTE or YOUR ASS IS GRASS)...

And now we're waiting....

No matter who gets into the White House, it is our duty as American citizens to par-tay! Everyone into the jumpy house!!!!

Bob, we need some drinks!!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008


I'd like a new post. I'm tired of seeing my name.
I'm tired of my problems. Make us all laugh. Hummmmmmmm, why am I seeing IV and some nude woman? Or Santa? Good Lord.