We need to liven up this place a bit. That's why I've hired the Solid Gold dancers!!
They'll make you want to boogie oogie oogie till you just can't boogie no more! Get up now! Shake that thang! Put on your head band and fake biker's gloves. Don't forget your sequined pants. Baby, you need more AquaNet!
Get down with your bad self!
UPDATE!!!!
The party is heating up! It's a disco inferno! People just keep dancing, dancing, dance the night away. We cannot stop them! AHHHHH!!!
The Solid Gold Dancers and Soul Train Dancers brought out the inner Go-Go Chick in both Queen Goob and Random Chick.
Queen Goob cannot believe how incredibly fabulous her hairdo is...she's in shock!
And Random Chick got herself stuck in the shower in her Go-Go boots...
32 comments:
slides into place on the dance floor followed by sixteen dancers shakin' their groove thang
HEY GUYS!!! I brought the Soul Train Dancers!
I wore my micro-mini and white knee high go-go boots just for you guys, whatcha think?
OMG! I LOVED Soul Train!!! Now this place is funky!
I tried to get my hair to do an afro but it didn't work out. Just have a few more drinks and I'll look hot in a few hours.
Can't do the Texas-hair thing so I always go with the long, straight, blonde, hippie look. I think it goes well with my boots, don't you?
Damn, I remember that shit!
Why isn't "That Guy" dancin'?
*Runs onto dance floor expecting to see Queen Goob, RC and That Guy. Hummmmmmmm. Nope, alone under the disco ball. Taps foot. Runs off dance floor and finds the HUSTLE!!! Runs back to dance floor and there they are, hundreds of people doing the hustle!* "Bob, it's gonna be a busy time at the Wild Onion! I'm sorry I can't help you bartend right now because I have to shorten my skirt by at least another 5 inches, find a Solid Goldish look-a-like head band and tease my hair just a little bit more. Oh, and someone has to organize the Soul Train dance line later." *Runs past Bob toward ladies room, sees That Guy standing with his surf board near IV's hole in the wall.* "Dude, why the hell aren't you dancin'? IV's on the dance floor with Cheese." *Grabs That Guy's hand and runs with him toward the dance floor, but before pushing him on pulls tennis sweat band off wrist and squeezes it on That Guy's head* "See, you'll fit right in!" "Yes, I will, but it's so tight I can't think." "Oh don't worry honey, you don't have to think to do the Hustle and if it cuts off the circulation to the rest of your body just stop dancing and rest a while on the Macy's Sofa." *Plucks feather out of Solid Gold Dancer's mask as she Hustles by and places it in That Guy's sweat band.* "Perfect! Now get out there and have some fun."
That Guy's a fast learner! He's out there doing the Hustle with the best of um'. And I might add with a surf board AND a too tight head band with an orange feather. Kids. Oh and there's Queen Goob. Her boots got caught in the reflection of the disco ball and nearly blinded hell out of me for a second. Wow, she looks HOT!
*doing the HUSTLE in the corner because she can't see straight*
Why am I seeing stars?
Ahhh, who cares!
*does the hustle. Whistles.
doot doot doot da doot da doot doo dee
*thinks about applying for a job at the skinny Chippendale's
*slides onto dance floor wearing nothing but a white button down shirt and dark sunglasses*
sometimes you just gotta say....
Say what?
Say:
AOW AOW!!!
Rock-n-roll?
Okay That Guy, get that damn band off your head and RC, stop knockin' against the walls. Here we go! What's playin' first? IV, you do the honors because I see you haven't suffered road rash yet. But get ready. (Oh trust me! Running naked down the road with a female part is going to cost you.)
XO ;)
"Ding-dong-the dick is dead..."
No, I can't stop laughing, and neither will you once you recover from the ER!!!" You put it out there. What was I to do? Egnore it?
Where's Bob? I need another Martini! Shaken vigorously. Not stirred by a sissy!
Hey, is that a wall or are you just happy to see me? Wait. That didn't make any sense....who cares!
Woot! Woot!
*goes on dancing with the wall*
Trying to get on the dance floor, but this place is crazy crowded with people in gold lame - not that there's anything wrong with that!
Except these platforms are making it difficult for me to get up on the bar.
*asks for a lift*
Re: above...
Douche
Ps: I'm up here dancing on the ceiling.
With ceiling cat.
In view of the notorious, vicious and sinister Hu, Jiang, Chinese Liberation Army
Dude, you guys have GOT to get you booties shaking before things start falling off and making the dance floor slippery!
*psst* Did you see that one guy's boots? How gauche! And he came here thinking he was gonna what? Pick up a hot babe in a pink trench coat?? Not on my shift….SUZ!!! Just kick him in the family jewels and shimmy that cute behind over here, I’ll take care of the next one!
jumps in the line and Hustles with a cute surfer wearing a really tight head-band
MEGAN!!!! Hurry, I can't hold the crowd back too long so grab a spot and start shakin' that groove thang, girl!
HEY!! I got my buddy at work to bring the band - go listen here - http://www.myspace.com/theintoxicators - I think they're playing Prostitutes In A Clown Car as I type this.
IV - is that the best name for a song or what?
Queen Goob, you're the best!!! I've never considered myself a "hot babe in a pink trench coat," but now I do. If I were a lesbian, I'd marry you, if you were a lesbian and would have me!!! But I'm not, you aren't and I don't know who the hell I'm supposed to be fending off with my cute little ass, our Chinese Guy or That Guy? I need to know because I'm fixing my Syber Nerd dress as we speak and altering my cereal box for the challenge. I want to look my bestesessssss, and need to know which language to speak. What? How do I look?
Don't delete our Chinese friend's post anyone. The Chinese have it hard and this could be legit. I would hate to find out we are a bunch of uncaring assholes on a CNN news report. I would prefer learning we're just a bunch of non-first-responders. That Guy, get your ass off the ceiling and listen to me. "Leave our Chinese friend alone, because as Pink Floyd said "Hey people, leave that kid alone."" Okay, so I made up my own lyrics. What? Sue me.
And QG, you're really, really smart. Have you met Megan and Random Chick? (Laughs ass off!) The three of you are awesome together. *Parks PPT on side of Soul Train to watch three awesome chicks hustle down the tube and enjoy the men watching them!!!
XO Love ya baby!!!
QG
I'll listen to the music later. I have to feed the animals.
XO
Hmmmmmmmmm...
*rolls eyes and keeps dancing.
*thinks, damn, America rules
Hey! Who let that Chinese Military guy in here any way?!?
IV....he's always pullin' shit like that.
*unties chinese liberation army dude and sets him free*
*yawns*
whats up kids, who's ready for morning margaritas?
I'm SOOO late to the party...oh, well...I loved the Solid Gold Dancers...
Can't dance, though, in my new motorcycle boots (just reviving a fashion from my younger days)--the steel toes are keeping me pinned to the floor...
Rocks/ice please.
Good hanging yesterday IV.
Margarita sounds soooooo gooooood right now. Sheesh it's not even noon yet. What's wrong with me???
Absolutely nothing.....I'll have what Megan's having.
I can't have what their havin' cuz that shit'll kill me. I don't drink that sorta crap, but I need something. Oh, and can it be served with something to eat? I'm not eating lately. Too much stress I guess. At this rate I'll be below my high school weight in a few days. Good Lord.
Leah, honey, take off your shoes and have some fun. I know steel toed boots. Had to wear them at UCLA. The absolute rule in sculpture studio. I learned why when a piece of steel I was welding fell on my right foot. That boot saved my life (do you know how heavy that crap is?)!!! NO JOKE. I'm serious. I gave all my steel toed boots to the Good Will last year. My hopes of ever welding or working with steel again seemed hopeless. But I'll always have the memory. However, I still love steel and I still love to weld. If I ever get my place in upstate NY, I'm going to have Dad build a sculpture studio for me. Big and beautiful, with all the equipment I adore. Slides onto dance floor with a bright attitude and hope. Finds barefoot Leah and twirls her around under the disco ball then whispers in ear ("Honey, I need some freakin' food!!!).
XO
This is not good, it's just reminded me of the film The Girl With Gold Boots...now I need therapy...dance therapy!
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