Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Solid Gold!

We need to liven up this place a bit. That's why I've hired the Solid Gold dancers!!

They'll make you want to boogie oogie oogie till you just can't boogie no more! Get up now! Shake that thang! Put on your head band and fake biker's gloves. Don't forget your sequined pants. Baby, you need more AquaNet!

Get down with your bad self!

The party is heating up! It's a disco inferno! People just keep dancing, dancing, dance the night away. We cannot stop them! AHHHHH!!!

The Solid Gold Dancers and Soul Train Dancers brought out the inner Go-Go Chick in both Queen Goob and Random Chick.
Queen Goob cannot believe how incredibly fabulous her hairdo is...she's in shock!

And Random Chick got herself stuck in the shower in her Go-Go boots...


Queen Goob said...

slides into place on the dance floor followed by sixteen dancers shakin' their groove thang

HEY GUYS!!! I brought the Soul Train Dancers!

I wore my micro-mini and white knee high go-go boots just for you guys, whatcha think?

Anonymous said...

OMG! I LOVED Soul Train!!! Now this place is funky!

I tried to get my hair to do an afro but it didn't work out. Just have a few more drinks and I'll look hot in a few hours.

Queen Goob said...

Can't do the Texas-hair thing so I always go with the long, straight, blonde, hippie look. I think it goes well with my boots, don't you?

That Guy said...

Damn, I remember that shit!

Queen Goob said...

Why isn't "That Guy" dancin'?

Suzanne said...

*Runs onto dance floor expecting to see Queen Goob, RC and That Guy. Hummmmmmmm. Nope, alone under the disco ball. Taps foot. Runs off dance floor and finds the HUSTLE!!! Runs back to dance floor and there they are, hundreds of people doing the hustle!* "Bob, it's gonna be a busy time at the Wild Onion! I'm sorry I can't help you bartend right now because I have to shorten my skirt by at least another 5 inches, find a Solid Goldish look-a-like head band and tease my hair just a little bit more. Oh, and someone has to organize the Soul Train dance line later." *Runs past Bob toward ladies room, sees That Guy standing with his surf board near IV's hole in the wall.* "Dude, why the hell aren't you dancin'? IV's on the dance floor with Cheese." *Grabs That Guy's hand and runs with him toward the dance floor, but before pushing him on pulls tennis sweat band off wrist and squeezes it on That Guy's head* "See, you'll fit right in!" "Yes, I will, but it's so tight I can't think." "Oh don't worry honey, you don't have to think to do the Hustle and if it cuts off the circulation to the rest of your body just stop dancing and rest a while on the Macy's Sofa." *Plucks feather out of Solid Gold Dancer's mask as she Hustles by and places it in That Guy's sweat band.* "Perfect! Now get out there and have some fun."

That Guy's a fast learner! He's out there doing the Hustle with the best of um'. And I might add with a surf board AND a too tight head band with an orange feather. Kids. Oh and there's Queen Goob. Her boots got caught in the reflection of the disco ball and nearly blinded hell out of me for a second. Wow, she looks HOT!

Anonymous said...

*doing the HUSTLE in the corner because she can't see straight*

That Guy said...

Why am I seeing stars?

Ahhh, who cares!

*does the hustle. Whistles.
doot doot doot da doot da doot doo dee

*thinks about applying for a job at the skinny Chippendale's


*slides onto dance floor wearing nothing but a white button down shirt and dark sunglasses*

sometimes you just gotta say....

Suzanne said...

Say what?

That Guy said...



Suzanne said...


Okay That Guy, get that damn band off your head and RC, stop knockin' against the walls. Here we go! What's playin' first? IV, you do the honors because I see you haven't suffered road rash yet. But get ready. (Oh trust me! Running naked down the road with a female part is going to cost you.)

XO ;)

Suzanne said...

"Ding-dong-the dick is dead..."

No, I can't stop laughing, and neither will you once you recover from the ER!!!" You put it out there. What was I to do? Egnore it?

Anonymous said...

Where's Bob? I need another Martini! Shaken vigorously. Not stirred by a sissy!

Hey, is that a wall or are you just happy to see me? Wait. That didn't make any sense....who cares!

Woot! Woot!

*goes on dancing with the wall*

Megan said...

Trying to get on the dance floor, but this place is crazy crowded with people in gold lame - not that there's anything wrong with that!

Except these platforms are making it difficult for me to get up on the bar.

*asks for a lift*

Anonymous said...

The purpose of this email is to make certain accusations against the Chinese government and my cry for help. Thank you for your time and your help will be highly appreciated.


Are you aware that the news you are watching is interlaced with Communist China's propaganda,as Communist China maps a realm of news with innocent lives?
Communist China is scheming a millennial terrorist activity by manipulating people's behaviors through "electromagnetic waves" to contain criticism and harm innocent human lives.

1. The anomaly in community traffic of cars and motorcycles and drag racing,and reckless honking by cars and motorcycles is exceeding an unprecedented level.
2. Communist China has the technology to scan the human brain waves through military satellite and to discern and decipher their thoughts,scheming to instill individual interference focusing on each individual in need using the satellite electromagnetic waves.
3. Deploying electromagnetic waves is poised to project onto the human brain with certain sounds for the perception of grossly traumatizing or startling pain,or deploying the broadcast of noise via electromagnetic waves in sleeping humans with edited clips of films or through voice or image signals onto our brains or besiege our sensory functions with fabricated audible and sensory illusions.
4. It manipulates one's moods,such as smiling,nervousness,disgust,panic,anger,sorrow,desires,appetite,and so forth.
5. It interferes the human brain's thinking capability,memory or linguistic capability,to name a few,causing spasms of muscles and fingers in the left and right hands,stinging aches throughout the body,coughing,yawning,trembling,involuntary blinking of the eye,runny nose and so forth.
6. Electromagnetic waves are deployed to hinder the motoring functions of the body and neck,disrupt the heartbeat or respiration,manipulate dizziness,deprive one's sleep,spasm,saliva gland,dental neural pain,etc.
7. Watch out that Communist China is infiltrating the news media by deploying electromagnetic waves to besiege the broadcast media,map out viral disillusion or erroneous perception,and investigate threats of brainwashing in viral spreading.
8. It further moved to deploy various symptoms in what one sees of media icons,gesture terms,adding a skewed interpretation to one's cognitive awareness,misleading an individual to hallucinate or suffer,such as the North Korean's rigid smile,which is a tactic Communist China often deploys to counter the people.
9. By observing the resolution accuracy of Communist China's sound and image (scenario) interference projected onto the human's brain,this can only be achieved with a certain level of frequencies at the source of interference,hence there is no doubt that it has to be the electromagnetic wave. Yet questions remain as to what range of frequencies the source of interference deploys,or what kind of electromagnetic waves insulation chamber would suffice to provide an insulation yield? Communist China might deploy specific metal alloys as small scale molecular antennas, which are attached to the human brain in large number,creating electromagnetic waves when the human brain is in function,where the current created by Communist China's electromagnetic interference would poise to amplify in a staggering number of multiplication,which Communist China can detect at all times to discern and muscles would excel the generation of electrode,which in turn create a corresponding electromagnetic wave within.
10. Some of Communist China's intimidation experiences in 2002:6.9 "Hey,are you tired of living?"6.14 "We had concocted the bombing incident at the U.S. embassy in Pakistan" "Jiang Zhemin ordered us to kill you,but without creating scenes"6.16 "The Pakistani civilian troops confessed that they had schemed the bombing of the U.S. embassy in Pakistan,which we had manipulated them to confess,so what are you going to do about it?"6.19 "Hey,why don't you just go ahead and commit suicide""We are going to scheme murder using the public bus"6.20 "Commit suicide by burning charcoal,get it?"6.25 "Jiang Zhemin just does not like you,go hit your head against the wall".
11. I reckon that there are victims abound out in the street,no less alarming than wars,and those not in the know or did not understand that Communist China's simple electromagnetic design could easily turn people against each other,create moving incidents,little lese to say mislead the youth to broach down the wrong path,suicidal prompting,design and fabrication of a host of society news (which Communication China refers to as movie making),as Communist China has had a decade long of the technology,and has long abused its technological advantages to scheme up design of abusing human lives by arranging fabricated news to poison and infiltrate the free world,manipulate and misguide the contents of the media,and deploy brainwashing and malicious spread of viruses,done with insinuation and riddles.The fact that Communist China's slaughtering the innocent had been the result of a high level of calculation,and a high level of rationalization,where the threats are in existence,and cannot be ignored of their detrimental severity.
12. Communist China often coerce people to watch news compiled by the reporter Lu Yuling of the cable news in order for them to be saved,but few are aware that Communist China had merely deploy the reporter to entrap many people. I do envision that those that turn to committing crime as framed by Communist China,the extra sufferings by the ordinary people,and the deaths of many innocent lives will not go unnoticed as hindered by a condoning attitude.
13. Nazi Hu Jintao, Jiang Zemin, Chinese Liberation Army, security police and armed police have committed suppression and massacre on their own civilians. Hu, Jiang and the other atrocious butchers owe these innocent civilians! More horrible and serious is that they are using mysterious killing technologies to cause harms to human brains around the world, making advantage of numerous international politicians and journalists to help them commit atrocities and beautify their actions, aiming to overturn and suppress those innocent people and cover up their terrorist acts and win fame by cheating the world. Securing in the knowledge that they have strong backing, these arrogant and shameless butchers have committed tortures and mass killing cruelly to those innocent ones around the world. Unfortunately, neither these politicians and nor journalists knowing what is what would dare to express their conscience.
14. The inhumane acts and atrocities committed by Nazi China are far more vicious than that of Nanjing massacre in China during WWII committed by Japanese army, as Chinese government is using mysterious technologies to commit massacres to masses of bare-handed civilians around the world as well as launch violence and terrorist activities to suppress these completely unarmed people’s freedom of speech. These demons, like Hu, Jinag and Chinese Liberation Army, despise the chastity, dignity and precious life of those innocent ones and suppress the emotions of their beloved. Meanwhile, relying on the condition that most of people in the world will not be able to witness their vicious acts of violence and behaviors they have committed unscrupulously and shamelessly, these Chinese Liberation Army enjoys using cruel ways to torture, massacre and trample on these innocent people, physically and mentally, in one free world. The arrogant Hu, Jiang and those jackals nurtured under such ferocious power treat themselves as the symbol of benevolence and hero, as they fail to learn their gutless and vicious acts to trample on those innocent people. If these demons, butchers and dregs of human, such as Hu, Jiang and Chinese Liberation Army who have become frenzied and conscienceless appeared in the site of Nanjing massacre in WWII, they definitely would be the leading roles to act atrocities!
15. We don’t want to see masses of innocent people to fall victim to the hell on earth built by red China where they will be susceptible to tortures and massacres for thousands of years.
16. Despite being even unable to fend for themselves in face of the high-tech detriments and attacks from China, we can not tolerate the fact that these politicians and journalists will become the accomplices to help China commit its terrorist acts and suppression on these innocent people in the current era or an unknown future.
17. In view of the notorious, vicious and sinister Hu, Jiang, Chinese Liberation Army with blood-stained hands, we just cast doubt over whether these greats of knowing what is what who have negotiated with these demons will show their conscience to save these innocent civilians or will act just for the sake of their profits, or are under the control of China. In this current drowned world, how will these innocent lives be treated in face of the atrocious acts committed by these diabolical figures, or when these innocent people will witness the practice of democracy in China? Will these phenomena turn out to be the joint efforts and endeavors achieved by China and those powerful figures in the world? Are we really dedicated to overturning such adversity? Our goal is to eliminate the vicious power one day with our strenuous efforts, and we absolutely will achieve it!

Chen,Shun-Chuan 2002.10.13* Republic of China (Taiwan)

That Guy said...

Re: above...


That Guy said...

Ps: I'm up here dancing on the ceiling.

With ceiling cat.

Queen Goob said...

In view of the notorious, vicious and sinister Hu, Jiang, Chinese Liberation Army

Dude, you guys have GOT to get you booties shaking before things start falling off and making the dance floor slippery!

*psst* Did you see that one guy's boots? How gauche! And he came here thinking he was gonna what? Pick up a hot babe in a pink trench coat?? Not on my shift….SUZ!!! Just kick him in the family jewels and shimmy that cute behind over here, I’ll take care of the next one!

jumps in the line and Hustles with a cute surfer wearing a really tight head-band

Queen Goob said...

MEGAN!!!! Hurry, I can't hold the crowd back too long so grab a spot and start shakin' that groove thang, girl!

Queen Goob said...

HEY!! I got my buddy at work to bring the band - go listen here - http://www.myspace.com/theintoxicators - I think they're playing Prostitutes In A Clown Car as I type this.

IV - is that the best name for a song or what?

Suzanne said...

Queen Goob, you're the best!!! I've never considered myself a "hot babe in a pink trench coat," but now I do. If I were a lesbian, I'd marry you, if you were a lesbian and would have me!!! But I'm not, you aren't and I don't know who the hell I'm supposed to be fending off with my cute little ass, our Chinese Guy or That Guy? I need to know because I'm fixing my Syber Nerd dress as we speak and altering my cereal box for the challenge. I want to look my bestesessssss, and need to know which language to speak. What? How do I look?

Don't delete our Chinese friend's post anyone. The Chinese have it hard and this could be legit. I would hate to find out we are a bunch of uncaring assholes on a CNN news report. I would prefer learning we're just a bunch of non-first-responders. That Guy, get your ass off the ceiling and listen to me. "Leave our Chinese friend alone, because as Pink Floyd said "Hey people, leave that kid alone."" Okay, so I made up my own lyrics. What? Sue me.

And QG, you're really, really smart. Have you met Megan and Random Chick? (Laughs ass off!) The three of you are awesome together. *Parks PPT on side of Soul Train to watch three awesome chicks hustle down the tube and enjoy the men watching them!!!

XO Love ya baby!!!

Suzanne said...


I'll listen to the music later. I have to feed the animals.


That Guy said...


*rolls eyes and keeps dancing.
*thinks, damn, America rules

Anonymous said...

Hey! Who let that Chinese Military guy in here any way?!?

Queen Goob said...

IV....he's always pullin' shit like that.


*unties chinese liberation army dude and sets him free*


whats up kids, who's ready for morning margaritas?

Leah said...

I'm SOOO late to the party...oh, well...I loved the Solid Gold Dancers...

Can't dance, though, in my new motorcycle boots (just reviving a fashion from my younger days)--the steel toes are keeping me pinned to the floor...

That Guy said...

Rocks/ice please.
Good hanging yesterday IV.

Megan said...

Margarita sounds soooooo gooooood right now. Sheesh it's not even noon yet. What's wrong with me???

Queen Goob said...

Absolutely nothing.....I'll have what Megan's having.

Suzanne said...

I can't have what their havin' cuz that shit'll kill me. I don't drink that sorta crap, but I need something. Oh, and can it be served with something to eat? I'm not eating lately. Too much stress I guess. At this rate I'll be below my high school weight in a few days. Good Lord.

Leah, honey, take off your shoes and have some fun. I know steel toed boots. Had to wear them at UCLA. The absolute rule in sculpture studio. I learned why when a piece of steel I was welding fell on my right foot. That boot saved my life (do you know how heavy that crap is?)!!! NO JOKE. I'm serious. I gave all my steel toed boots to the Good Will last year. My hopes of ever welding or working with steel again seemed hopeless. But I'll always have the memory. However, I still love steel and I still love to weld. If I ever get my place in upstate NY, I'm going to have Dad build a sculpture studio for me. Big and beautiful, with all the equipment I adore. Slides onto dance floor with a bright attitude and hope. Finds barefoot Leah and twirls her around under the disco ball then whispers in ear ("Honey, I need some freakin' food!!!).


Miles McClagan said...

This is not good, it's just reminded me of the film The Girl With Gold Boots...now I need therapy...dance therapy!