Oh sure, take away all of our fun.Party pooper.
Hey, there is no soap or towels in your bathroom. Should I just lick my fingers?
...are those mints in the bathroom? They taste like shit.
This place has a bathroom? What's the password?
Dear Mr. Special,Is this one for me because of the Macy's sofa thingie on the previous post, or am I so self absorbed I think everything's about me? If it is, thanks and you'll get no sign. If it isn't, thanks, you'll get no sign (but thanks for trying!). How do I know? Because, as you know, I've been appointed "Special Assistant To The Boss Lady" and trust me, no judge (I mean The Wild Onion) is going to allow that crap into a courtroom (I mean bar). How do I know? Because I'm Cece's VBF (Very Best Friend) and VBF's have veto power. Now on to our lovely guests:1. "Hi Bobobamalicious. Can I have my usual please?" "Blottie, you're so confusing, I don't know what the hell your usual is anymore." Bob of course would never write like that, but play along, this is a blog. "Bob, I'm a simple woman, with simple needs...I'll have a Shirley Temple please."2. CSI Seattle. WTF!!!! Oh. My. God. Yup, I did a double take. This is your first time here. No? Holy crapper!!!! It takes IV's stupid sign to delurk you? (Okay, don't tell him, but I'll hot glue it to the Men's Room door in your honor.) And no honey, you don't have to lick your own fingers, here, let me do that for you. Yeah, in your dreams! "Severus, Jorge, where the hell is the soap and towel?" Lazy bastards. What the hell do we pay them for? Oh right, they work for free. 3. Randy et al,Those are mints. Don't like um' bring your own. Cece bought them at the 99 cent store and she thought they were delicious.4. Megan,OF COURSE WE HAVE A BATHROOM!!! You don't have to pay, just do what IV does. Get really drunk and walk through the wall. Poof, there it is. XO
Poof! I peed.I'm back now. Who's with me?
(determined not to mention the conservative early-to-bedness of the Bay Area)mentions it anyways
Tired of making a fool of myself while y'all are probably on the phone to each other...Still throwing my name up there for membership regardless. I listen good (and hard).
Megan,I swear to God I responded in the wee hours of morn, but think I must have "backed" out of this joint without publishing. Damn. Sorry about that. Glad you found the bathroom. See how easy that was? Oh, and about membership, that's easy too. The "Troll At The Gate," that would be Cece, isn't picky. Just put your name in, she'll shake it all about and the next thing you know, you'll be informed you're a member!!! Good luck with that!Have a great day smarty pants. XO
So Megan wants to be a guest writer does she? Well, I always say there is room for one more. Megan, here is what you do. Email me. A link to my email is on my profile. Email me so that I have your email address, and you will be as sure as in!!!! That's all it takes. And then you will officially be one of us. What special prize do you get with full fledge memberdom you ask? Hell, I though that just being in the "IN" croud was good enough. Todays youth! Always asking for more. Your special prize is that you'll get all your drinks here at The Cafe, for FREE!!!! (Oh and you will probably have to get it yourself too, if Bob's not around.)Ok, I"m out of here. It is time I replaced the red sunset on my blog with a new post. So come to my place and read it DAMN IT! Or you're all FIRED!!!!!!!
Naughty, naughty stealth poots. I hate those silent but deadly little devils.Skeeter
walks into the onion and sniffs the air....checks her left boot, then her right one - nothin'Alright, who let the cat out? GEESH, it's tough to chug a beer when your beer smells like shit.
*hands goob a nose plugging device*cheers!*chugs morning beer*
pours Suzanne a micro-brew...Hi Blottie... Happy Monday!
Hi baby!!! Honey, what am I drinking!!!??? I read about it in some upscale magazine, so knew we must have it here! Then saw it on the Food Network. What? I'm a simple woman! Have a favorite? Me, nope. You know I'm not a beer drinker, but I'm hoping to expand. Now that I'm playing poker again over at CSI's, I'm gonna drink beer. And I'm not drinking cheap beer. Wish me luck. No, not about the beer, about the money.XOLove you Bob! Happy Monday to you too sweetie!
Hope you have plenty of pee stories for the guys around the poker table!
Happy Monday Bob! I'm late for the park, but found it necessary to shower this morning because I was beginning to feel really gross. I had to come on line to check my bank account (I'm now depressed), so thought I'd drop by and say "Hey!" Gotta boogie. And NO, I don't have pee stories for the guys around the poker table. I generally discuss nuclear physics or roses while playing poker. Don't you? I'm back, I have a few minutes so I'm going to visit poor Zack while waiting for my phone to charge (I forgot to charge it last night, ugh.). I'd bring him chicken soup, but he'd probably prefer a micro brew because it's after 9am. Slide one down the bar for me honey. No, not the really expensive one, something modest because he's in no mood to appreciate expensive stuff. (He was honored with his first negative comment ~ poor soul (What the hell's he call all my bitchin' and moanin' over on his blog?!).) I have about 5 minutes to cheer him up and make his day! Wish me luck. ;) Blottie XO
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