the new google

Smoke in the air.

After dealing with the holiday crowd, my hair smells like cigaretts.

Where The Hell Is Everyone?!?

This way?




Or...THIS WAY?




I know which one I'm voting for...

riots in the streets

after looking at that last post for so long most of the bar patrons went outside to see what else was happening and started a bit of a kerfufful. police were called in for crowd control....



feel free to continue story below or in comment box!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY IV. ENJOY THE YEAR!!! WELL NOT RIGHT THERE. WE THINK THAT'S GERMANY AND IT'S PROBABLY ILLEGAL. TAKE IT IN THE BACK BUDDY.

WITH LOVE FROM ALL OF US!

Hey, Hey, We're The Monkeys!

Okay, this bar needs some entertainment to get more people in here. I know the economy sucks, but it's livelier at Saggy Bottoms Senior Center than it is here lately!!

We're hiring The Monkeys to do a live show every Monday night. They use actual monkeys now because they've gotten so old...

Peter Tork can't find his keys or his comb...

 ...Micheal Nesmith can't get up from his chair anymore...

...Micky Dolenz thinks he's Frank Sinatra and wants to open a casino in Vegas...

...and Davey brings out his man boobs as an encore!

Who's up for Happy Hour! I sure do need a drink after seeing those MOOBS!

Megarific Monday!!!

It's Megarific Monday.... Megan's Birthday falls on a holiday so we can all hang out and celebrate together!

We'll start off the day with toast in the morning. How else could you celebrate Megarific's birthday without toast in the morning?

We all pitched in for a HUGE gift card so Megs can buy all the books she wants...

So many books her library will look like this.

We'll make sure she wins her Fantasy Football Leagues.... AGAIN!

So she doesn't have to wait in the sun while waiting for the train, a brand new parasol to bring her shade...

Since Meg's confessed to being a C+ in the last post, our next stop will be to head over to Vicky's...

... and we'll get her what every woman wants, a Bacon Bra.

And as her special day comes to an end, we'll kick back with a frosty cold beverage....

and a big slice of cake.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MY SPECIAL FRIEND
THE MEGARIFIC, MEGALICIOUS
MEGAN!

Bring your own cups day!!!

What's your cup size?

did somebody say i try to spice this place up?

I run for life

I don't know how I missed it, but I heard this song for the first time on the radio last night. I'm glad that I was almost to my destination because if I were not I would have had to pull over on the side of the road and cried. Instead I sat in my SUV for several minutes in my driveway and cried. This song hold so much meaning for all of us. I'm sure there is not a single individual that has not experienced the loss of a loved one due to Cancer. This song is so powerful just in it's musical and lyrical form, but when you add the videos it just sort of grabs onto your hear with an iron clad fist and won't let go. As I write this post I am thinking about my sister. I am thinking about her amazing spirit and how she apporached each day as if it were her very last. There has never been a person that loved life anymore than my sister. I don't think there has ever been a person that just Loved period more than my sister. Her funeral was a testament to how many lives she had touched. The church was full. Standing room only. There were well over 300 people there and they were all devestated by their loss. It's amazing to think about it. And yet it kills me at the same time. October is quickly approaching. Which means that breast bancer awareness month will soon be upon us. But the sad reality is that breast cancer isn't the only monster. There's leukemia, melanoma, cervical cancer, prostate cancer. So many cancers that it would take me days to list them all. This October I will do my own running. I will be running for the memory of my sister, and for the hope that one day doctors and scientists will find a cure to this horrible disease called cancer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoGa84U5hDo&featuresrelated

Happy B-Day Blottie!!!

You can find the party here.

You Think You're Cooler Than Me.

I love this song.

Since everyone else forgot how to post here

The next party will be here... again

Happy Birthday RC!!!

Happiest of Birthdays to the Randomist Chickest person we know.

Luv ya RC!!!

Who's Up For A Beach Party?

To celebrate Summer, RC's throwin' a beach party!!! Everyone is invited!!!

Get yer surf boards dudes 'cuz we're gonna catch us some waves.

What are those crazy guys doing?

Excuse me, Bob. Please put some pants on!!!

That's just too bitchin'!

Give me your tired, your poor, your UNINVITED

*Megan hears the angry clacking of some slingbacks approaching and runs for her life, but not before pouring Giggie a Lemon Drop!*

Happy Birthday Giggie!

Happy Birthday Gig...
Lemon Drops for everyone!

Happy B-Day Kyles

Happy B-Day Kyles
Have a slice of cake

(Suzanne is having a little difficulty in adding any photos, so I'll help her out on this one)

What? Shut up. I can't even get a f***** picture. I've been trying for like 10 freakin' minutes. NOPE. Nothin'. Why? Ahhhhhhhhh...who the hell knows. Blogger doesn't like me because I've been deliquent and because my computer guy screwed the hell out of me. Well, you know what I look like. What the garden looks like. What all my friends and family look like. Pets. Park. Good luck!!!

Drinking out of cups

This is hilarous. Thought we could use a bit of comedy here at The Onion. I suggest that we all take a hit of his acid and go into the closet with him.
And remember, Lighthouses Rule. If you don't like Lighthouses, you SUCK!

Welcome Back, Cece?

Maybe not. Actually, I am coming out of hiding in attempts to help out a friend of mine with a very important cause. We are attempting to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis. For those of you who do not know what that is, just know that it is a disease that effects children. By following this link, http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/dsp_DonationPage.cfm?walkid=6333&idUser=216663
you can find out all you need to know about Cystic Fibrosis and help out a couple of great kids that I know.

Spring Fling

I had such plans for this post but then my sister started texting me from this party she's at, so I'm distracted. I'll be back, but feel free to ADD!!!!!

Duck Butts

How in the world did I come up with this post? I Googled "ducks" and looked at the images and of course, I had to pick the one with duck butts!

And that's all there was to it!

I miss you guys so I had to swing by for a drink. Can I bring my duck butts? It's not a code violation is it?

What's up? Where is everyone? Where's the vodka??? Bartender, DRINK PLEASE!!!

By the way, I have some duck trivia for you:

Did you know that ducks sleep with half their brains awake? Ducks are more likely to sleep with one eye open when they are located on the edge of sleeping groups. They can detect predators in less than a second.

Bet you didn't know that. And if you did, you're really smart. I mean really.

Hello? Anyone there? Am I just talking to myself? Hellooooo....

Minnesota Nice

Sorry I haven't been around much lately... but I am thinking about the ladies of the Wild Onion Cafe!

wild onion sponsored events?

the wild onion bike to work week?

what events do you see the wild onion sponsoring? something goofy and fun or more serious and heartfelt. there must some sort of good that could happen from all of us hanging around on here. does anyone know how to install a donation button on the side? no-profits must have some sort of linksie dingle thing? know what i mean? have a running tally of how much we've donated to date... that sort of shit. anyways that's was today's brain fart.

Award Season!

This time of year, Los Angeles is a-buzz with award ceremonies. Seeing people get awards inspires me to...well, give out some awards!



The Bringing the Funny Award goes to:

RC

Woman, you crack me up! I can only imagine what a girls' night out with you would be like. If I had my way, What is Stupid? would be on every bookshelf in the nation. Hooray for Volume II!




The Deserves It and More Award goes to:

BOB

Bob, I can't tell you how happy I am that you got that job up there in the Frozen North. Cheers to you for hanging on to your dreams for a better situation, and even more cheers for doing something to bring them about. And for cheering us on at the same time? Hugs!



The You Can't Stop Her And Why Would You Want To Award goes to:

BLOTTIE

She breaks her head, she breaks her ankle, but she never breaks her promises to her ferals. She tells me I suck, but she loves me anyway. You know you do, Suz. When's the garden party???



The Best Use of Facebook Award goes to:

KAREN

I spend too much time trying to be witty with my Facebook updates. And here we have Karen, doing it effortlessly. And she lets it all hang out. Woman, the only reason I don't comment on everything you say is because I can't take the swarm of messages that I get if I do. I wish I could be so forthright.



The When Does Your Novel Come Out Because I Wants It Now Award goes to:

LEAH

We're all damn good, but I think Leah is our best writer, and I'm not afraid to say so! You read her posts, you get sight, sound, taste, touch, scent...you're transported!




The How Does She DO It Award goes to:

CECE

She works some insane hours and yet she's always there for her boys and for us when we need her. If I had some free time to give away, she'd be the first to get it. If it wasn't for...


KYLIE

I can't find a photo that does her justice. I can't find words to do her justice....but Bob, I can think of an award that is LONG past due.





Congratulations to all our winners! (Goes and stands behind the bar with Gig while you all dance around. "Giggie, we know what we know.")