i took the liberty of choosing a speedy racer for Suzanne, something that perhaps fits her style. sleek, old school and pink! (i think its her favorite color rose??? i could be wrong.) it comes with a flower basket option, but don't let me be quoted on that. with its low pro tires and sweet aerodynamics she is sure to look good while sporting her heels and strappy dress... turn the lights on and look out!!!
i spent a couple extra hours in the shop after work tonight and whipped out the little number below. it has clean lines and reflects more of the style of trike i might ride in a bikini wearing road race. I'm not a big fan of the color but its what i had in a can laying around the shop. and since i built it from spare parts and its not store bought like Suzie's, it should qualify for the event....
now alls i have to do is choose between a one piece or two piece bikini!
16 comments:
No, You can't amp it up. No. It has to be an actual tricycle. That is not a tricycle. There are rules. No really Zack, there are rules. You can't just make them up. We should both set our ass on the pink tricycle. Even-Steven. Leah lays the flag and we're off. Peddle like a m*&^%^r f&^&#^% baby! Oh, and don't get a heel caught in the peddle! You'll be screwed. That's where I have you at an advantage. I can handle a heel. See you at the end baby!!!
Oh and honey, I won't be wearing a dress...I'm wearing my black bikini. Trust me. I'm here to win.
Zack,
I think a one piece speedo would suit you just right!!! This is one race I have to see. I agree the pink one is a hot commodety. See ya at the finish line. I'll be the one laughing my ass off with everyone else.
Cece, knock it off. How am I supposed to win if your rootin' for "him." I'm already screwed. God I love that cute little pink thing!
And I said "Set" you ass, rather than "Sit" you ass. That's just too good!
~vroom, vrooom, VRRROOOOOMMMMM~
"what i cant hear you over the gigantic roar of my tricycle!!"
*opens trench coat revealing a sequined yellow thong and pulls out a piece of paper from the inside pocket, hands it over to suzanne, he leaves his coat open so it looks more like a cape*
A tricycle (often abbreviated to trike) is a three-wheeled vehicle.
Tricycles generally follow one of three layouts:
upright, Resembling a two wheeler (diamond frame) but with two wheels at the back and the rider stradling the frame. Steering is through a handlebar directly connected to the front wheel;
delta, is similar to an upright, with two wheels at the back and one at the front, but has a recumbent layout. One or both rear wheels can be driven, while the front is used for steering (the usual layout). Steering is either through a linkage, with the handlebars under the seat (USS) or directly to the front wheel with a large handlebar (OSS); and
tadpole, a recumbent design with two steered wheels at the front and one driven wheel at the back. Rarely, the front wheels can be driven while the rear wheel steers. Steering is either through a linkage and a tie rod to the plates of the spindle assemblies (USS) or with two handlebars, each connected to a steerer tube and a tie rod between the plates of the spindle assemblies (OSS).
*flips down his antique racing goggles and adjusts his banana hammock over to one side and drops it into first and dumps the clutch*
Oh shut up! That's brilliant! And you can't start until everyone is here. So turn off your damn engine and take off your damn goggles. And for God sakes, DO NOT take off the trench coat or sequined yellow thong! Okay, you're gonna win. We all know it. I'll still be peddlin' 10 minutes after you cross the finish line, but won't I look pretty. You picked the most beautiful trike in the world for me. Thank you. I LOVE it! Even when I lose, can I keep it?
Let's go get a drink, sit on the sofa and wait to see who arrives. Honey, can you get my shoes down from the ball? It's been a hard day at Rose Cottage Studio, I need to relax with a good friend. Speaking of which, you never took my award. Why not? Too pretty? ;)
Did you notice vehicle's name is "Suz!?"
"the" vehicles...
Love that Pretty Pink Trike!! My money is on Suze in her black bikini, Yee Haww!! I will be at the finish line with Cece jumping up and down, great fun...
But we do need to wait for everyone to get here...
"Boogety, Boogety, Boogety....
Let's go Racing Girls and Boys!"
Just taking it out for several practice laps...
*pulls flask out of secret pocket in thong, offers some to the crowd and resumes practice laps, flask in hand*
Thanks Gig! My money's on me too. It isn't money well spend because he's going to win, but we can steal it back when he's on the podium being showered with champagne. It'll fill his secret pocket and bring his thong to his ankles (Law of Gravity!). While everyone is rushing to look at his "equipment," we'll take a peek, but run for the the money bag and recoup our losses!!! Life is good. Oh, and I'll abscond with that pretty little pink number too. I heeeeeeearrrrr winner!
XO
I didn't say who I was rootin' for, but I will be congratulating the comedian that crosses the finish line first. That is after I have stopped crying from laughing so hard. Go! Go! Go!
Let's get Rollin' Boyz-n-grylz.
Personally, it could go either way - either IV will be distracted by the curves in Suze's over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, or she will be distracted by his curves in his banana hammock. Either way, it's a close one.
Cece,
I know! I don't know why I thought you were rooting for "YOU KNOW WHO!" Obviously I misread and upon rereading realized my mistake. Sorry about that. It was probably the wine.
Well my house and my family's house is known as the "House of Comedians," so I'll see you at the finish line honey. Oh, and now that I have a disability, I deserve special treatment, right? For instance I get to start ahead of Zack because of my nearly paralyzed left side and get to be almost at the finish line before he even starts his engine. I need to be less than an inch away to have a chance! Can you guys arrange that? I'll hear his engine start and I'll use my right foot to propell me to victory with a good tail wind. Unfortunately I know he'll blow by me like I'm a snail! So technically he didn't actually win, he simply took advantage of a disabled woman. Perfect...grounds for appeal!!!
God I love you. Thanks for always making me laugh. See you at the finish line baby! Can you please have a nice cold bottle of mountain spring water waiting for me because you know that one turn of the peddle is going to be exhausting! Oh and I think Zack is probably going to be naked at the finish line. Why? Because you can't go that fast and keep a trench coat and a yellow thong on pulling that many G's (when did men start wearing thongs and capes?). Physics dictates it's virtually impossible. That's gonna be ugly! Hang your head and close your eyes, but peak through your thumb and index finger and you should only see vital information! That should do it!
Love you with all my heart!
Suze XO
Peter,
Honey, I'm only a B cup, that would NEVER impress I.V. and his thong would never impress me without being covered in roses. Okay, we're even-Steven! The race is on. Okay, when is the race? No really, when is the race?
XO Suze (you're the best!)
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