Friday, January 30, 2009

More Quotes...Dedicated to Bob

Suzanne, I'm gonna carry on your idea about quotes...
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These are for you, Bob.

Saturday, January 24, 2009


Newman will be dead two weeks come Saturday. My goldfish died a week ago. My tree was blown down in the storm a year ago January 12th, etc. Life is often hard, but I find strength in quotes. Why? I don't know.
I have a beautiful younger sister, Laura (yes I use real names). She loves digging for old bottles. When I went home last she revealed a huge box of bottles she'd been saving for me over the years to use as vases. We share a love of gardening, birds, nature, life. The box was so big and so precious I had to actually ship it back to CA because I was too afraid to entrust it to the airlines. This is one of the beautiful bottles with and Iceberg rose.
"To the outside worlds we all grow old.
But not to brothers and sisters.
We know each other as we always were.
We know each other's hearts.
We share private family jokes.
We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.
We live outside the touch of time.
- Clara Ortega

My garden
"Instead of waiting for someone to
bring you flowers,
why not plant your own garden."

You all know I have a profound love of chairs just like Leah has a love of skinny white guys!!! This is one of my favorites and I'm going to use it in a painting (I lifted it from Queen Goob or Megan). I drew something similar a few years ago and worship that drawing!!! Yes, it's true, I love my own art!


"Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk about happy things."

"Tea pot is on, the cups are waiting. Favorite chairs, anticiating, no matter what I have to do, my friend there's always time for you."

"It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs." - William S. Gilbert

and I can't leave without this...

If Jeasus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. - Lenny Bruce

I have thousands and probably 10 coffee table books I'd love to write about quotes. Now what are some of your favorites?

Monday, January 19, 2009

Happy Birthday Cece

Preparations are well underway for a fantastic birthday celebration for Cece on January 20th...

There's a big party in Washington, DC to celebrate her birthday on Tuesday. Why it is happening there I have no clue... but it should look something like this, only bigger!

But closer to home, the Wild Onion Cafe will be celebrating a little more down to earth. After all, elegant and formal is not really our style around here.

The new bartender Mahonney (some sort of Depp/McConaughey hybrid Cece cooked up in her Petri dishes at the laboratory) will be serving Chocolate Beer and other wonderful concoctions.

just bob will take care of the grilling. Hopefully he'll pay more attention this time and not let things get out of control with the flames

Gig is here straight from Michigan. Rumor has it that it's darn cold up there these days. Don't let her get too close to the grill or someone will have to mop her up.

Everyone at the Onion loves animals... so their pets are welcome to the party. Suzanne will lovingly watch over them.

Of course Suzanne brought a special arrangement of roses just for Cece

Random Chick shows off the birthday socks for Cece

Zach sends his greetings from his vacation somewhere along the Pacific Coast

Karen ^..^ brought her scissors and has a birthday treat all planned for Cece

Leah and Severus will handle the birthday spankings

Megan has prepared her traditional "stack o' toast" for the occasion

Kylie has brought plenty of TimTam's for the birthday girl

Robyn is here with blue butterflies for Cece

Queen Goob is in charge of .... well you guessed it.

So from everyone at The Wild Onion Cafe...

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Onion News Update!

It seems that there is a new restaurant opening up next door. But I'm not sure they will be able to compete with The Wild Onion Cafe.

It does appear that a few of our customers are making their way over to Sherrill's after they leave here. She actually came over to complain about it yesterday. It appears that some of our inebriated friends were making a few of her customers feel a bit uncomfortable. She gave me this picture as proof.

Come on gentlemen, their nipples are not that impressive. I mean, you have to be wearing some serious beer goggles to be attracted to those two bottleheads. Surely, The Wild Onion has enough attractive buxom babes to keep you gentlemen here. Do we need to open a Bunny Ranch out back?

But I began to worry about the business, so I asked IV to take a break from his Canadian vacation and put up a new billboard sign to advertise for the Wild Onion. This is what he came up with.

It's eye catching, but I see one little problem with the photo. It doesn't have our name on it. IV, put down the weed for a couple of minutes and go fix the sign. I expect better work from someone I am not paying. Now come on, I know you do your best work for free!

And lastly, the bathroom cleaning lady was complaining about the conditions in the men's restroom, so, we have proposed a new rule. Please abide by all posted signs.

Thank you for your cooperation.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009


This fine establishment will now be serving the finest and recently imported from Japan CHOCOLATE BEER! If you can read Japanese, go here to read more. If you can't, just drink it!

Who wouldn't like a foamy glass of chocolate heaven? C'mon! I know you want it!!!

Updated by Leah:

Here are some silly straws for us to drink our chocolate beer through:

the glasses are awesome--and I should know, I have them at home!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Time to Take Down My Birthday Post--*sniff sniff*

I thought we needed to shake things up a bit here--a break between birthday festivities--although it pained me to say goodbye to the baby pugs, the '80s awesomeness, good food, and Alan Rickman...

But what to post about? I just plunged into it with no plan. Anyone else?

updated: Okay, Karen's mention of Grape Twister soda made me feel happy. I love grape soda. With all the discussion lately about empty calories, landfill plastic bottles, bad for you additives...c'mon, soda is AWESOME people!! The way it sizzles in your nose, the way it burns your throat going down, the way it's sometimes more thirst-quenching than water, the funny burps it encourages! I love an ice cold Diet Coke, with crushed ice and a straw, Sonic Diet Cherry Limeade, Regular Coke. I even love cold seltzer. Sarge will only drink Dr. Pepper.

What's your bubbly delight?

**Second update. Kris, our new guest, mentions Fanta Pomelo. I wonder where on earth I can get my hands on some of this...

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Happy Birthday Leah


We're really glad you came,


From The Wild Onion Cafe gang.

We really are excited,

We hope you are impressed,


To our favorite guest!!

The Bat mitzvah has just started,
I've baked a kosher cake,
So let's get this party hoppin'
Now for goodness sakes.

The Beer is in the cooler.
All the Spirits, they are free.
So let's knock us back some cold ones.
Hell let's make it two or three!


Everyone else can edit as you wish, just make it fun and make it loud!

Chocolate-Chocolate Cupcakes from Ghiradelli Square

Or...maybe we should all just leave the room? Look who showed up with a verrry special present!

And some love from the 80's!

Don't look now, but someone who shares this natal day with you decided to drop by and try some of our cake as well! He doesn't look 62 to me?

Friday, January 2, 2009


What is your definition of love?
I recently discovered Leo is the most romantic sign.
I didn't know that.
I found myself asking me this question and started to laugh.
Why the hell am I making me work?
I'll just ask you!
I was grateful to learn I'm attracted to other fire signs,
particualarly Sagitarius.
That explains my love affair with my sister Laur.
I love her to death and would do anything for her.
My first love was also a Sagitarius, born on the same day
as my sister.
Then there's Aries. Do I know an Aries?
I don't think so. Apparently we're pretty good together.
I often wondered what it would be like to be with another Leo.
I don't think I have been.
Apparently it's a love affair to remember.
Kinda frightening being with me.
I'd remember that!!!
Oh, I also learned I have an attraction to air signs.
Gemini in particular because
"Gemini's witty charm is hard to egnore."
Aka, Rob.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Okay, so go at this and have some fun.
I'll be over on the Macy's sofa waiting for Severus or what's his name
to make my day...