after removing "the bum" from the front of our establishment here another man has decided to bless us with his presence. if anyone sees this man, we need to invite him in. we cant have him wasting all that "talent" on non paying customers...
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I knew you had to be a little bit ghey lad, don't worry yer among friends you disgusting wee man.
Are you sure that's not just MJ in a Santa suit?
Here we go again. I see you've brought a few friends as well. There goes the neighborhood!!! ;)
Oh, and by the way, this isn't like the old Cafe at Brian's where we had to work our butts off to keep the joint runnin', everything here seems to be free! Have you noticed? What ever we want we get. It's made us lazy. Gig's so busy playing slops and Robyn's on and extended holiday, so they aren't bringing in customers like they used to. If Santa decides to join us, I think he will be our one and only. God forbid. Just inform him the coat has to stay closed ~ this is a family establishment. Well, a semi-family establishment. Well, technically, I don't even know if it's that. Maybe we should go back to running this joint for profit. Not that we made any last time, but we sure had fun!
XO
SUZ, you want to run joints for profit? is that some sort of slang for selling pot... hmmmm, there will be no selling of drugs at this here business... i doobie leave there is someone at that back door taking care of that already...
Growing up in NYC in the '70s and '80s, there was one of these guys on every corner. I swear. After awhile my mom stopped covering our eyes...this guy's a little less furtive, though, he's out loud and proud. I think we have to ignore him, and his disappointment will make him seek greener pastures.
Whoo Hoo!!! Feels like Christmas (Hee hee) around here!!! Just hit for $400.00 on my fav "slops".
"Jorge, please set up a round of shots, Lemon Drop for me, and whatever all my friends would like, it is on me" *Shoots back lemon drop, slams glass down and heads back to to win some more*
Hey Voices,
Maybe we could get the "doobie" brothers, LOL, to play the Onion?!!
You call yourself a café but what do I have to do to get a DRINK around here?
Where in the hell did we find that woman? No really. Where? She's a wacky broad and I love her too much. I'm still laughing Zack. She's like a beath of fresh air. When life feels too complicated, Gig shows up! The woman's insane! I have no idea what a "lemon drop" is, but I'm havin' one in an attempt to let lose and be set free. Jorge, lemon drop for me please. Be kind. I have responsibilties.
Oh, Jeasus Christ, MJ is here. This is what you have to do to get a drink. Smack down your fist at the bar and Jorge will show up to service you. Well...eventually. Apparently we aren't paying him too well.
XO
"Jorge will show up to SERVICE you."
Hell, I like the sound of THAT!
How will I ever live this crap down? And yes, Jorge will do just about anything. He's a gem.
Good luck with that MJ.
Suze, you might want to go easy on the Lemon Drop, or substitue the Absolute Vodka for mineral woter!! Chill the Absolute, *rub lemon around top edge of glass,then set glass in plate of sugar...pour Absolute in glass*...have sliced lemons dipped in sugar ready...ready, set go...*shoots back another lemon drop, sucks on lemon!! Now that's a Lemon Drop!
M.J. Welcome to the Wild Onion, there is a little something here for everyone. Well...maybe...I guess it depends on what that "something is". We have to watch out for the Voices, ya never know what he might be doing, LOL.
Ok, Suze let's go sit on the Macy Sofa and see what's happening in the Disco Dance Hall...
*trips through beads, stumbles over to sofa and grooves to the music...* Way to many lemon drops, Suze!!!
Okay, Lemon Drops are out for me. Vodka, yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Like Gin. Yuck. I'm not a real hard liquor kinda gal. Yup, I'm a wimp. Or is that whimp? Who knows. My dictionary is history.
Oh, and honey, the last thing you should be doing is warning MJ about I.V.!!! They're old friends and as much as you might think I.V's the red light, nope, it's MJ. Trust me. I've barely read her blog because my eyes are always covered. The woman's insane! But I love her.
Don't let the beads smack ya in the face honey. I'll hold um for ya. Relax on that piece of crap sofa and we'll get you some water. We need more furnature. One sofa isn't cutting it.
XO
That was me, damn it! I am so sick of this crap. It says it isn't there, so I post again and then it's there twice. Go figure.
;)
I hate when that happens! We can make you a "fake lemon drop", water instead of vodka. A friend one time got us started on lemon drops and then she switched hers to water, I never knew until way too late for me. But, I have remembered that trick. The first one is the worst one, each one after that is easier...now I am too old for that shit feeling the next day!!!
I do think we need more furniture, lets have a decorator come in and set everything up...maybe a little more "mood lighting" to go with the "disco ball". Whatcha think?
Back to the real world now, getting munchkins,off to school now, then it will be QUIET for awhile!!!
Love you,
XO
We can have a Santa peep show and maybe we could get a Mrs. Clause booty shakin' show and then we will need chip n' Dales, and pole dancers. And way in the back we could start a bunny ranch. With real live bunnies. They are so cute and furry. Do you think the Health Department would object?
The flasher's still loitering outside, flashing folks! I got yet another eyeful on my way in!
Yes, I realize it's not even 9 o'clock in the morning.
What did you say?
You don't start serving liquor 'til noon?
I want to speak to management.
Somewhere in the world it must be happy hour!
*steps out of back room and offers mj a pull from his flask, motions for her to sit down and has jorge begin his "service routine", slides back into back room where cheesey techno is heard. a faint wisp of vanilla musk lingers in the air from back room entrance*
vanilla musk from the back room, Bar service before noon, and a swinging dance floor. Man I love this place. *Take a hit off of I.V.'s smoke and begins to cough*
Shit, I forgot I don't smoke.
MJ.
We have no rules here. Jorge does his full Service 24/7. He loves the tips.
Cece, you forgot #4...Santa's at the front door! I suspect he's going to become a permanent fixture if Leah has anything to do with it. I think she likes him. He's going to feeze his ass off this winter though. His mistletoe too. That's gonna hurt. I hope someone thought about Worker's Comp coverage for this place because I didn't.
God it's good to see the gang here. Well, some are missing because they're probably praying for a less suggestive, semi-pornographic post! I'll go pick some flowers and get my thoughts in order. I'm still so foggy from yesterday I can't figure out if I a thought!
I.V., great post and great comments. We're all keepers!. Apparently, so's Santa.
XO
Caught out! I do like the flasher! I LIKE him, like him. I'm just trying to get the nerve up to ask him out.
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