Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Be There or Beware

Don't do anything on August 8,
Cuz we're gonna celebrate.
You may have heard,
NO, it's not a dirty word...
Suzanne's Birthday is coming up,
So sit at your computer, bring a cup,
Fill it with wine, liquor, or beer,
Cuz we will all be right here.
We'll be laughing, crying, and singing,
For her birthday we'll be ringing.
Starting at midnight,
This blog will be quite a site.
Mark your calendar and beware,
Cuz we'll get you if you're not there.


just bob said...

I'll be there,
What should I wear?
I'll take great care,
to find clean underwear.
I'll try not to stare
and be quite aware,
to be nice and fair
if we play truth or dare.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bob...

I love your poems so keep 'em coming! You are quite good at it too!

just bob said...

I'll take the time,
to continue to rhyme.

Leah said...

Wait, midnight your time? Maybe we can even get a sort of real-time thing going.

Oh, and by the way,
I'll keep my own rhymes at bay--
I'm not known for my rhyming verse,
The rhymes I concoct are more curse
than poem...

Queen Goob said...

Oh drat and bad luck
I don’t want to seem mean
I won’t be online
But vacationing

I’ll do my best
To pop in and out
Lift a beer to our Suz

So save me a seat
In the back of the bar
And I’ll do my best
To celebrate from afar

(I know, Bob’s way better at poems than I am but I took a shot just the same.)

I will be in Charlotte gettin’ my drunk on but I’ll make an effort to stop in for the party.

LOL - word verification - tiyvo


here i sit broken hearted...

no thats not the one.

the hills are alive...

no thats not it either.

whatcha gonna do with all them lumps....

nope, nope.

hickory dickory dock...

no that was andrew dice clays...



Cecile said...

So a rhyme game is it?
So that is what you say.
I hope that Suzanne
Has a happy Birthday.
I hope that she's on time
I don't like it when people are late.
So we will all sit here,
keeping watch at the gate.
My rhyme is on short notice,
It isn't very nice.
Sometime to get it, you may have to read twice.
But you can bet that I won't be missin',
A chance to give Suzanne a happy birthday wishin.

Ok I'm finished, I'll stop while I'm ahead, now I'll take my stuffy nose to bed.
So wish me luck, for tomorrow I'm bound for a float down the Buffalo, I hope we don't drown.

Suzanne said...

"I once met a man from Nantucket..."

Okay, I'll stop. You guys are too funny. I can't rhyme. Well, that's not true, I can, but it take hours and I don't have hours. I'm better at Haiku (I know, sounds almost impossible, but true!!! I got an A+ in that poetry class baby! I'm NOT kidding.)

Thank God Bob will have clean underwear. Absolutely mandatory for a birthday party. (Kylie will laugh cuz she knows all about my underwear!) I don't know how to play truth or dare.

Leah, curse all you want baby, cuz this is my party and I'll cry if I want to.

Queen Goob, no vactation on my time.

I.V., keep your damn powder away from my drink, but don't forget to wear your trench coat, cuz it's sexy.

Cece, you can't drown...you know how to swim. Right?

RC, you're the best. Thanks for all this. What would life be without a Class A party planner!?

Tons of love to all,
ME! ;)


uh... i dont wear underwear...never liked the stuff.

do i still get to join?

Cecile said...

IV, you should be fine without the roos, just make sure you keep the coat buttoned up.
Suze, yes, I swim like a whale. And when I sit on the beach, I look like one too! LOL.
Oh and RC, stop telling me what to do. I'm the boss here, and I'll visit this blog when I'm damn well ready. (JUST KIDDING!!!) LOL

I recommend everyone to go see Journey to The Center of The Earth in 3D. WAY COOL MOVIE. There were parts in it where my husband and I both jumped, and I even hollard out once. WAY COOL. And yes, Leah, it was a curse word.

Leah said...

IV, you're free-balling it? (haha, that's one of my favorite expressions, and I've always wanted to use it.) I think Suzanne does too, if I remember correctly some long-ago online truth-telling session...

Suzanne said...

IV of couse you get to join. Well, well, well, we finally have something in common. I don't either. Hate all the extra baggage. Right Kylie!!! Too funny. No undies for me baby!!!
I'm a simple woman with simple needs. Yes Kylie, of course I'm laughing! Like Cece suggested, keep the coat buttoned. God forbid we see the package on my birthday. Well, some might enjoy the peek, but I'm a one man woman and want to keep it that way.


Peek to the loo my darlin'. Wow! How do you keep all the stuff in your trunk?

Suzanne said...

Cece, you kill me!

MJ said...


I'm going to a party that night.

I'll pop by when I get home if I'm not too loaded.


mj is gonna pop bi...

heh heh...

Suzanne said...

Leah, you remember that far back!!!That was a long time ago. I don't even think you knew me then. You must have been lurking. ;) By the way, just had the funniest conversation with my niece this afternoon and thought of you. You won't believe this, but she lives and works in Brooklyn!!! I didn't know that. I thought she was in Manhattan! I knew she lived and worked in the city, but wasn't aware she was in Brooklyn. Too funny. You know she's a phychologist and we got laughing so hard her mom had to get on the phone to cut us off. I asked "Baby, when I come home, can I visit your office so you can fix me?" She said "Oh Aunt Suzy, knock it off, you're perfect just the way you are," and we were gonners. Then my sister got on the phone and made it worse. She told me Valerie had just returned from a convention in N.C. and when she was there, called home and said to my sister "Mom, I hate it here, I just want to come home." My sister said "Well, she's a city girl. She's gotta be if she's dying to get back to Brooklyn." Hey, I hear Brooklyn's not so bad! I don't know why, but that's still making me laugh way too hard! I'd set you up to visit with her, but she works with high school kids. Hedgehog, get ready for Dr. V. She's an absolute hoot and I do believe she's in your school system!


Leah said...

Suzanne, that's so funny! Well, Brooklyn is having a sort of renaissance, or should I call it naissance--I'm not sure how fabulous it was in past eras--it makes sense to live there, there are still icky parts and benighted parts, but a lot of it is really lovely. Does Valerie work within the public school system? Her job is very interesting if so.

It's funny how Brooklyn gets under your skin--Hedgie is fifth-generation Brooklyn now--at least part of my family has lived here for nearly 100 years--WOW, I hadn't even thought of that until now--but even my friends who have moved here in the past decade can't imagine life without Brooklyn.

I didn't mean to go on for so long about my borough--maybe I have to do a post on this--


Queen Goob said...

*slips her fingers in her mouth and whistles like a truck driver while waving a dollar in the air*

I.V.! HEY! Over here! I got a dollar for you!

LOL, maybe we should start calling him IV cause those balls are FLYIN'!

Anonymous said...

Looks like the party is already started...

IV "Flying Balls" bring your boys to the party but keep them under control. Do you hear me?!

Suzanne, you just sit back and relax, honey, and Bob will get you a constant supply of Martinis.

Leah, whatever happens on this blog stays on this blog.

MJ, don't pop your bi too hard. We wouldn't want anybody getting hurt!

Cecile, okay, okay. You're the boss. But I get to tell everyone else what to do!!! LOL!!!

Queen Goob, if IV isn't wearing any underwear where exactly do you intend to stick those dollar bills? WAIT! Maybe I don't want to know...

You sure can busta rhyme,
So get to it any ol' time.
You are our intrepid bartender,
You help us when we're on a bender.
We will leave it to you,
To create a poem so true.
That will speak of Suzanne's Bday,
And only the things you can say.
For we'll look forward to reading,
Your poem on that day speeding.
So please get cracking,
And don't be slacking.


*hangs coat at door and saunters to the bar in all his glory, clicks secret button under bar and flask rises from bar, empties contents and replaces it into secret drink compartment. swagers out back for some table dancing*

Queen Goob said...

.......I want my dollar back.

Suzanne said...

Leah ~ isn't it a small world? Val LOVES Brooklyn. Yes, please do a post when you have time because I'd love to learn more and see lots of photos. Perhaps you and Hedgie could take a walking tour of your neighborhood and show us all around. And 100 years, I'm impressed!

Yes, Val is in the public school system, but Hedgie will probably never meet her (unfortunately/fortunately) because she works specifically with at risk youth. When we talked yesterday I ask if she enjoys her job, her reply was priceless. She said "Aunt Suzy, I absolutely love what I do!!! Every day I make a difference in a student's life and that's an amazing feeling. My job is challenging and rewarding and I wouldn't want to be doing anything else." That's my girl! I adore her and I'm so glad she's happy because so many people hate what they do to make money. She does her doctor stuff with kids who need to talk, then also works closely with teachers and counselors to get students through school and hopefully into college. She said her favorite students to work with are homeless. I asked why and she said "Because they try so hard and through no fault of their own they have nothing."

I wrote a post about my 4 oldest nieces ages ago. If your search my archives you'll find a photo of Valerie. If you ever pass her in the hall, say "Hey honey, I know Aunt Suzy!" She'll howl!


RC ~ I've never had a martini. I'm not a hard liquor sort of gal. One drink and I'd probably flatline! Bob, a nice cold glass of chardonnay my dear man and how about a bit of Irish cheddar with some nice water crackers. Don't let IV Dingle Balls near any of my STUFF! Wait, that's not his name, I gotta go do some reasearch. Found it. IV Flyin' Balls. Man that's gotta hurt. Almost sounds like a Native American name.

And MISTER, don't ever walk into this joint stark naked. Oh right, no rules. Were's Cece...I'm going to wring her little chicken neck for that atracity. There she is, over on the beach. *Marching confidently in the direction of her victim, trips over Henry David. Damn. Lights out.*

Queen Goob ~ You want it back after putting it there???!!! *slips fingers in her mouth and whistles like a truck driver while waving a dollar in the air..."Taxi, Taxi, Bellevue for my lady friend please."*


Bobness ~ I'm expecting something glorious and rhymie. Do us proud young man.


MJ ~ Hope you can make it despite conflicting parties. Nice having you here. I've missed you terribly.

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me...

Leah said...

Hi Suzanne--that is really the most interesting job. My sister taught high school English in a Manhattan public school for a number of years, and really loved many of her students, even some of the very difficult ones.

Hedgie goes to private school, actually. We do have a very good public school near, but I really wanted her to go to my "alma mater" because it's such an awesome school and she can really soar there. Tiny classes, individualized curriculum according to the kids' strengths, very progressive and self-directed with a strong art, writing, and music program as well as math and science, no computers till middle school, no letter grades ever, etc etc...you can tell I love that place...through a wonderful combination of luck and support we're able to swing it.

I love having a conversation in the Cafe!

Pass the cheddar and water crackers! And how about some champagne grapes to go with! I'm starvin'. Maybe it's time to make dinner. I have a big leftover salad and some very nice olive oil--garlic--lemon dressing I made up. Perhaps I'll just pop in some yummy manicotti from a local Italian place. See, Suzanne? Vegetarian!

Oh and Happy Birthday to you!

Leah said...

Hey anyone stopping by--I was just experimenting with GoogleTalk--has anyone tried it? I'm curious.

Leah said...

p.s. can you tell I'm busy avoiding my tasks and duties?


*appears from back room wearing leather chaps and carrying a riding crop. puts jacket on and head out onto street. leave huge "tip" on the bar*

Suzanne said...

IV, what'd ya do with your dingle berry in all that leather? I hope mothers are protecting their children. Jeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz. And that tip. You know it's for Bob? Right?

Leah, I forgot the wee one is in private school. So you will never meet Dr. Val. Ugh. Too bad. You'd LOVE her. She's just right up you alley. Man the two of you would connect..you know, PhD and all. Oh well, we still have the family picnic to look forward to! She'll have that paste it name tage, DR. V. Walk right up to her and say "Hey!" We're a family a comedians, trust me, she'll get it!

Queen Goob said...

*throws back the rest of her beer watching IV’s bare ass walk out the door and mutters under her breath as she eyes the crop* Thaaaaaaaaat’s gonna leave a mark.

Damn……he’s still got my dollar.

Hey Bob? Can you slide another cold one down here? He tipped you good, right? ‘Cause I saw some little, old, blue-haired ladies hangin’ aaaaaalllllll over him back there.

And Leah? We’re all avoiding our tasks and chores – right guys?

just bob said...

I'm not looking at that tip...
and I'm certainly not picking up that tip!

...mumbles under his breath "someone's gonna have to clean the bar tonight cuz I'm not going anywhere near that thing

Leah said...

Wait, is IV administering the back-room spankings? Instead of Severus? Well, okay. He'll do.

And I'm glad to hear we're all shirkers!

And throw me a drink.

Suzanne said...

Okay, I'll take the money for gas. The damn Mercedes takes only the good stuff. I don't care how much pubic hair it has on it. It's still golden. I can always wash my hands. Right?

I'm just coming from RC's Suzanne's Birthday Blog. I listened to all the music. I'm in tears. I washed my face without trying. That girl's special. Thanks RC. Love you.

Suzanne said...

*In the backroom lookin' around...don't anyone touch my ass or I'll kick some.*

Suzanne said...

Throw me a drink too baby.

Robyn said...

Damn...it seems I have come to late
Oh well that seems to be my fate

I can't wait to bring a date
to Suze's Birthday BASH!

Where IV seems to want to do the 2 step dash!

and where Queen Qoob has ample stashes of cash!

and where RC bestows Suze with a 'I am the birthday girl' sash!

Ok...ok I don't know how Bob does it but my brain is offically off duty! I can't do it nos'more!

Hey Bob, can I get a cold one here?!

Just Bob
Random Chick
QUeen Qoob

Hope to be back!

Suzanne said...

Robyn, baby, honey, sweetie...I'm here too!! For how long, I don't know. I'm so damn tired I can't sleep.

Leah said...

Robyn, that was an awesome rhyme! Very Bob Dylan.


*arrive through back door, fully clothed, for a round of morning drinks*

howdy all, who needs some morning jeager bombs!?!?!?!

*pounds down three and puts another dime in the jukebox*

Suzanne said...

We have a jukebox? You have clothes? Hell, I barely noticed you in all your finery. Well aren't you a handsome young man?

"Bob, Jorge, Severus, can someone get me something? I'm run down, tired, exhausted, sleep deprived, runnin' on empty, no gas in my tank to speak of, done, cooked, baked, fried...and still have about a billion things to do today. I need a bit of assistance. I'll be over on the Macy's sofa.

just bob said...

...mixing up a special batch of ginseng, caffeine, electrolyte, vitamin C, fruit juice Wild Onion Power Smoothies (WOPS) for the gang

Everyone's so run down today. Let's go people, line up and get your WOPS right now. Captain Morgan or Bacardi shooters available on the side for an extra $1.00