Monday, December 8, 2008

Crappy Christmas Sweaters

Nothing rings in the holidays like a crappy Christmas sweater. Now, I've never seen a Hanukkah or Kwanzaa sweater so maybe this is just the result of too much egg nog. I'm not sure. Anyway, here are some real tacky sweaters to get you in into the spirit of the holidays (or make you thankful that you don't celebrate Christmas).

This guy looks like he wishes he was an elf.

Looks like he is experiencing some real pain. Somebody, get him a fruitcake, quick!

Is that a Coors Light in his hand? Bad beer. Bad sweater.

These people have the right idea. Close your eyes and no one will notice your sweaters.

This woman needs a room all to herself. Preferably, one that is padded.

I would not eat that hamburger. Would you?

Happy Holidays, ya'll!!!

24 comments:

Random Chick said...

Where is everybody? Hello? Hellooooo! There's an echo in here!!! Don't leave me alone with all the crappy sweaters! AHHHHH!!!!

Megan said...

I came, I saw, my eyes were burnt out of their sockets....

Skeeter said...

OMG!!! It's too much! My eyes. My sense of well being ...

Gig said...

I had to put my blinders on!!! I just ran to my closet and made sure that all my crappy sweaters were gone.

Thank goodness I got rid of them a long time ago...

Leah said...

I have an actual physical aversion to these things. For the "elegant" version of these (although I use the term "elegant" quite, quite loosely), check out this link. If you dare.

Cece said...

I think all the men in these pictures are gay!!!!

Suzanne said...

With out her glasses, Leah can't see for crap. Leah...put your damn glasses back on woman!

I'll tell you the truth. I logged on, saw the title and looked no further. Decided to play my favorite guessing game without reading another word (yes, I do play stupid little mind games with myself just for the mental challenge). My choices: RC, Bob and IV. RC seemed the the most reasonable choice because she's a smart ass (RC you're a smart ass), Bob ran a close second, but without some sort of political humor, I scratched him (he itched). IV was running close in 3rd when I scratched him too because I didn't see boobs or and ass (IV, does it hurt when you pee?). RC WON!!! You win baby! You win. And I win too because I was right. What do you think we won? Maybe Kylie can send us a little pastic trinket from Aussie Land!

Great post baby and my favorite sweater is the last one with the woman in lights. Too funny. Besides being know as "The loveable, wacky Aunt Molly, she can also be used as a centerpiece or a nitelight.

XO

Suzanne said...

Hi RC
Hi Megan
Hi Gig (sorry I didn't call, just feeling too funky ~ will call soon!)
Hi Leah
Oh Shit, Cece sneaked in. Hi Cece. Now I have to go read what she wrote. Okay I'll be back in a second because it doesn't look that long.

Suzanne said...

Cece. Duh. But how do you explain the women?

Suzanne said...

Oh my God I just started laughing too hard when I reread the portion of my comment "Okay, I'll be back in a second because it doesn't look that long." I thought of IV and how many times he's probably heard that!

XO Blottie!

Megan said...

Hi Blottie! You guessed right, twas the crafty and clever RC!

Gawd I am stressing over what to post here. Stupid I know but I'm all nervous. It's my...gulp!...first time!!!

I was reading another blog of a friend of mine and she was hanging Christmas lights and drinking spiced wine. Boy does that sound good...

Suzanne said...

Megan,

Sweetie, darling, cutie pie, we are the easiest crowd to please because most of us are drunk the majority of the time at the Wild Onion (not me). So just wing it!!! And have a blast. You're so funny and so smart. Guys love you. Girls love you. Animals love you. Okay, it's official, you're loved. Now get your ass in gear and write the damn post. You have guys I adore hangin' on your every word who don't even visit my blog and some are dear, dear friends (bastards)!!! Damn you woman. Jump off the pier. Set sail. Shoot to the moon. Oh for Christ sakes, just write the damn thing.

XO Blottie ;)

Suzanne said...

I promise, we'll be gentle. Especially if you wear a Christmas sweater.

Cece said...

The women explained: They were dropped on their heads when they were very young, and therefore, were not in their right minds.

Random Chick said...

Hi Suzanne!
Hi Megan! (you don't have to stress around here...we're all dorks!)
Hi Gig!
Hi Skeeter!
Hi Cece!

And Suzanne, you're good! You crack me up!!! You should also know by now that whenever a post contains the word "crap" is is most likely mine.

Cece said...

Megan,
Since it is your first post and it is the Christmas season, perhaps a post about the Blessed Virgin Mary. Or Bloody Virgin Mary's would work too!

INNER VOICES said...

*wonders what suz is going on about*


anyways, i too have an excellent christmas sweater that i wear that equals the awesomeness of these specimens here!!! i'll get around to post some pics!!

Random Chick said...

Inner Voices, remember to put some pants on, okay?

Suzanne said...

IV, why do you give me such a hard time? I just had a vision of you and Cheese dancing. Cheese looks gorgeous and your in your Christmas sweater. No pants. Holy crap, the little fella has whip lash. I agree with Random Chick, put on some pants, oh and while your at it put something on over that sweater too. Good Lord. This is a family establishment.

RC, now see, I thought when a post contains the word "crap" I wrote it, but don't recall writing this one. It's all yours baby! Good job!

Love you all. Oh, I just got off the phone with Cece (she likes to call on the way home from work - isn't that cute?), but we couldn't talk long because I have a migraine that is nearly killing me. Even typing this is killing me. And no, the Christmas decorations aren't up yet and I have about 5 loads of laundry to do, but can't find the courage to lift anything into the washer, or turn the dial. What? No I'm not lazy, I'm dyin' here. However, before I die I have a lovely surprise for you over on my blog's comment page. We have a special guest, Farmgirl, aka Mary Chapin Carpenter (5 time Grammy Award winner!). She's lovely and seems to think my supportive friends are pretty special (me too!). I had hoped to introduce her to all of you via a new blog, but my head hurts so much I can barely think. So please introduce yourselves. But before you do, you might want to go to her Website at www.marychapincarpenter.com and read about her experiences this past year. The NPR piece is compelling and I know will touch all of you. I don't think she's on my blog to talk about music, just great friends, life, family, animals, the mountians, the farm, etc. She's a sweetie. You'll see. Please give her a nice warm welcome like we've given so many others. Thanks my dear friends.

"Where is it Jorge?" *Blottie buries head in ice bucket.*

XO

Suzanne said...

Yes, I know, "Your" should be "you're." I think that was my only boo-boo. Right?

Suzanne said...

My head hurts. Cece told me to rub the pressure point on my big toe. She didn't say which one or indicate where the point actually is. My head hurts. "Mommy."

Queen Goob said...

I CAN'T SEE TO TYPE.....MY EYES, MY EYES!!!!!

Karen ^..^ said...

OMG, this was glorious.

The first guy? the caption should have read: "This guy looks like he wishes he were in an elf."

Ok, I'm bad. It seems I get a bit boisterous at the wild onion... Sorry.

Karen ^..^ said...

Oh, and one more thing:

I did once see an ugly Kwanzaa sweater. Only once though.