Thursday, December 18, 2008

something interesting...


after drinking and eating too much i sat down on the sofa here at the onion to watch a little t.v. and found this here remote stuffed in between the cushions. i couldn't get the t.v. to turn on suzanne was doing some interesting new things... anybody want a turn???

14 comments:

King of New York Hacks said...

Not just a turn, I NEED to know where to get one !!

Megan said...

Nice.

Cece said...

Unfortunately, that device if faulty because there is no way to control a woman.

Random Chick said...

They have one of those for men. It only has two buttons: "Listen" and "Shut Up"

Suzanne said...

Dear All,

I always try to guess before looking who posted. Yes, you all know I play little games to mentally challenged myself. Nope, didn't guess this one!!! Without boobs, an ass, or a flashing Santa how could I?

King of New York Hacks, are you a lurker? What? Sex brings you out? You and IV deserve to sit on the damn sofa trying to get that thing to work. Just so you know, I think Cheese took the batteries and used them in the mini vibrator.

Zack, Zack, Zack, Zack, Zack. What in the hell am I going to do with you? No really, what? Do I wrap you up in Christmas paper, put you in a box and ship you to Mark and Jo in Aussie Land? Do I kick your ass? Do I show you porn till your eyes bug out? I don't know? I can't figure you out for the life of me. I want you to like me. Really like me. But apparently you only like me if you can veiw me on video. That is not a Martha Stewart Good Thing. And I was kidding. Did you get to that part????? Did you read that far????? *Rolls eyes in head.* Well, I guess it's nice to know at 49 you'd at least like to look. What? Yes, I know you don't watch TV. And yes, I know you like 20 somethings (pathetic at your age), so I guess this is some sort of honor. *Rolls eyes in head again.*

I don't deserve this award (this is an award ceremony, right?). The Hopeful Porn Clicker Award. Steps up to mic, flicks with middle finger: First and foremost, I'd like to thank Zack for making this day possible. Without his 7 inch clicker I'd still be living in complete obscurity in a little apartment on Hollywood and Vine. Thank you Zack for helping me find my voice. Oh, and my libido.

King of New York Hacks. Where would I be without a fan like you?

Cece. I hear ya sista, but I'm thinking outside the box. Well, apparently that's not true. I'm thinking inside the box.

Megan. Thank's for your confidence in me. I wouldn't have been "nice" on video without your love and unfailing support darlin'.

RC. You better knock it off or I'm going to take you to the Top Of The Mark and drop kick your ass clear out the window!!! Did you forget???? Men are good for something else!!! You have two kids. Please, work with me sista.

I have to go eat now because I've consumed way too much sugar and I don't think I can continue. I'll be back. *Buries head in ice bucket, then spinach salad." God I love a buffet style awards ceremony.

XO to all. Don't touch the red carpet. I love it!

Megan said...

Suzy!!!!!!

Suzanne said...

MEGAN!!!!!

kylie said...

suze,
im older than zack and i like 20 somethings







and 30 somethings








and 40 somethings







may have even occasionally looked sideways at a 50 something

Queen Goob said...

Z.....if a guy waved that thing at me we wouldn't find it stuffed between cushions.

I like RC's remote better anyway - it may actually work.

OOOOOOOO - word verification = "wines".

I think it's a sign from God!

INNER VOICES said...

*high fives kylie*

lets go out to the bar and pic up some freshies eh?

Megan said...

IV - Shorties!

Suzanne said...

Yes, it was there. I decided I didn't like it!!!

kylie said...

Z
lets go

INNER VOICES said...

goob, ahem... randoms man controling remotes come stock with your gender... just whip those jiggly juggies out and any man becomes quiet and attentive...

the man remote on the other hand receives a myriad of responses when wielded...