Sunday, June 8, 2008

I've asked Cece to take my name off the Wild Onion. I'll check in once in a while to see how you're all doing. After the comments on Brian's blog yesterday, I've decided to move on. I will most likely close my blog too. I realize that friendship is an illusion. I will miss you all.

XO

13 comments:

Peter said...

NONONONONONONONONONONONO!

And I thought you were coping with it so well!! Don't do it! You've been saying how much you love blogging and how it's relaxing for you! Don't you dare close your blog!!!! That's just giving in to them, and you shouldn't give in to them!

I urge you to rethink.....

Px

Cecile said...

Suzanne,
You are old enough to realize that not everyone is as nice as the front they put on, but also there are several of us that are here, (and all of us here at the Onion) that do care about you and we do want to to continue visiting us and partaking in our daily cafe rituals. I understand that you are going through a tough time, but please don't let what happened on one little twits blog ruin the rest of bloggerland for you. Just delete him from your list and go on. There are some of us that are your true friends. Those of us that can call you and talk on the phone with you for three hours and still have more to say, but must go out of necessity. And those of us that ask each other, "Have you heard from Suzanne lately?" "No, have you?" No, well I guess I'll call her, or email her, or leave a comment on her blog. You are a very big part of all of us. We all enjoy reading your comments. I believe Brian, as big of a guy as he is, just hasn't quite got it that you are an "In your Face New Yorker". He just doesn't understand you. Just take a break from things a little bit and digest it all, and call me if you need and feel like talking. I'll go read Brian's blog now and find out what the hell we are talking about, because I haven't been there for a few days. Damn, now we are giving him free publicity.

Kookaburra said...

Don't go breakin' my heart.
Just take a break for a couple of months. Pleease!!

Suzanne said...

Peter and Cece/Cece and Peter (I'm very fair when it comes to addressing men and woman v women and men, I don't know why? Probably because I believe in equality.

Well I can't stay here for long because I'll be late for the ferals. You two made me laugh so hard this morning. I needed that because I stayed up late crying and trying to figure out the age old question, "What is the meaning of life?" My face is one big puffy mass of flesh. Frankly, I look like shit! Oh, and I don't feel much better either. I think I got a good 2 hours sleep, so I'm tired to boot. It's gonna be a great day if I can get my sorry ass out of this chair and start it.

Oh, and I was planning to shut down my blog because I was deleting a link and when it said "Cancel," I said "Yup!" and deleted my whole damn blog roll. Do you know how much effort it's going to take to get all those names back up!? I thought not blogging would be easier! And Peter, my coping skills suck. You should know that from the accident. Look, I sat and cried last night instead of using the time to get my blog roll back up. I don't think I have a practical bone left in my body. However, I am competitive, so you and Cece have convinced me not to give up. Oh, and the French Open's on, so it's inspiring me too. Never give up. Never give up. Never, never, never give up because you can still win in a sixth set tie-breaker! Poof, I'm better and ready to start this beautiful day. And this day is absolutely beautiful. It would be a shame to waste it.

Cece, thank you. You helped clarify a lot of crap and also made me realize I'm very, very important! Of course I'm laughing. Would I ever actually think that!? Oh my God that's too funny. Technically, I don't think you're supposed to laugh this hard in the morning. Life is beautiful even if one is a big old puffy cry baby. You probably have fewer problems with your kids than you do with me! This is pathetic. I'm sick of me too! I really do have to pull myself together. Good Lord.

And honey, if you call me an "In Your Face New Yorker" again, I'm going to have to kick your ass. I'm not! I have never been. I'm opinionated as my dad says. I'll grant you that, but and obnoxious New Yorker, NO!!! Come on honey, cut me some slack. I'm tired. And Brian. Who knows what the hell happened? I wrote that comment weeks ago and nothing. Not a word. Absolutely nothing until I.V. stirred the coals. Trouble maker. Suddenly everyone's up in arms. Why weren't their arms raise 16 days ago? Jezzzzzzzzzzzz. That's the sort of crap that bugs me because it seems very petty! You can't have it both ways. You just can't. Somewhere in there you have to use your brain and common sense. Brian behaved as if the words were some new revelation. Why? What purpose did that serve? We both know the truth, so why? Should I have written it? No, but at the time it felt right. And honestly, only he and I know the truth. He said nothing for 16 days which indicates to me my words had a ring of truth. I have no idea what happen to me and Brian. I adored that guy, but he up and left like we were yesterday's news. His new friends trashed me the other day and he did nothing to come to my defense. Nothing. And I.V. disappointed me in the most personal way. These were my friends. It broke my heart. I've lived long enough to know what a true friend is and they are not true friends. Lesson learned.

And most important, you can not take my comment on Brian's blog out of context. It was the day after my accident that he posted and I'm confident he did it purposely. Why? I don't know? I just know it appeared and I was terribly offended because it felt so personal. That doesn't make me an In Your Face New Yorker, it makes me human. Why? Because the previous day I nearly lost my life and hurt someone else in the process all because some asshole with Brian's attitude and large vehicle ran me off the road. And I know Brian purposely made light of it. He can't take it back no matter how loudly I.V. protests, or anyone else for that matter. He and I know the truth. His post was written for me. I'm under no illusions. You know me, I have amazing intuition and I didn't make a mistake the day I posted my comment.

Cece and Peter, I love you. Thank you for making me think. Cece, keep my name on. I may not blog too much over the next few months, but I'm proud to be part of this amazing nation.

To my true, dear friends, I adore you,
Suze XO

Suzanne said...

Mark, thanks sweetie. I will. I think the time is now! Hang in there yourself, okay? Much love, me.

Cecile said...

well, I am relived to know I can still leave her name up. I was beginning to sweat it there for a few moments. Anyway, all is well in blogger land. OUr Not so in your face displaced New York Native will be back. (is that one ok? I won't get my ass kicked for that one will I?) Although I think I could take ya. LOL. Just get some rest silly girl.

Suzanne said...

Cece,

I'm certain of two things. You can take me and so can Robyn. Frankly, I think all of you can take me. I'm kinda small and don't have any muscle mass to speak of. Well, I gotta little, but I think it's genetic and from years of playing tennis, not because I tried too hard. Oh, plus I'm a sissy. I may have a big mouth, but that's all it is. Big. A big New York mouth. Nothin' to back it up with! Seriously. Oh, but I do own a Mercedes now. So I think I can impress with that, but like I tell everyone, Beemers and Mercedes are a dime a dozen here. Not too impressive. And we're missing the hood ornament ($10 to replace), so I don't have the status symbol. I think I'm screwed no matter what. I'm running for the hills baby! Self preservation and all that. Someone has to save my ass and I can't rely on Peter forever. He needs his own life. Hopefully in Paris. I smell Europe next year!!! Don't we all?! That is going to be one full flat! Hope it has two bathrooms!

I like the title Not In Your Face Displaced Native New Yorker. I'm going to thrust that one on Dad and see what he thinks. He'll love it. We have an in your face New Yorker in the family. My sister Virginia. Hell, I'm scared of her. I am not like that! She's the big shot field hockey player who was asked to go to the olympics way back when. She doesn't mess around with anything and is confident as hell. I'm laughing because she's my little sister and so tough. Daddy and I laugh so hard sometimes when we talk about her. That's his flesh and blood, yet he can find the humor. She is a piece of work. God forbid she read this. Our asses are grass. She is the definition of an in your face New Yorker. I can barely suck the gravel she walks on. Seriously. Oh my God she's funny. And what's even funnier is when she looses all her hockey weight, she's the same size as me. When I saw it I said "Ginnie, is that you?" She was insulted. I honestly could not believe she was no bigger than a toothpick because her neck is generally the size of my head!

Daddy, if you read this, please do not say anything that might cause me bodily harm. Thanks!

Cece, thank you for making me laugh way too hard today. I enjoyed it more than you can imagine. I needed this more than you can imagine. Thank you sweetie. I love you very, very much.

XO

Gig said...

Ok, I was here earlier and started to comment, but gkids interuppeted,(what's new!!), so I am back. Yippee!!

Suze, I am glad that Peter and Cece have convinced you to reconsider, (and Mark), if you feel you need a day or two that's cool, but no longer missy!!
Don't make me come from Michigan, oops, I forgot I never got you an assistant!! You might have me redo your blogroll, lol. I would if I could you know.

Just remember this:
Always be YOURSELF, because the PEOPLE who MIND don't MATTER
and the
PEOPLE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND!!!

Love you bunches
Gig

Suzanne said...

I love you Giggie. We have this little group that matters so dearly. I can't even imagine my life without all of you. I can't. You make me laugh and feel safe, and you can dance and win at slops. Who knew I would find the true disco queen on blogger? When I actually considered closing down all my blogs I had a horrible nightmare that shook me back into reality. The thought of life without all of you was horrible. Absolutely horrible. It was like a life without my sisters and brothers, completely empty and void. Not my cup of tea. I knew I couldn't do it. And thank God you didn't kick me out before I realized it. I think we all found one another for a reason. Why? I don't know, but we seem to belong together. Brian left and I don't know why really. I don't know how someone leaves people who love them. Brian and One Pic made a choice I can't fully comprehend. I don't know how you remove yourself so easily from someone's life like that.

I.V. broke my heart a few days ago. I'll never understand his motivation. He was my friend. Kylie wrote an interesting post about forgiving and forgetting. I always forgive. When you grow up in a big family it's sort of mandatory! Forgetting is a bit more difficult. I've already forgiven him. I don't even need an answer. Life goes on and we eventually die and stupid stuff doesn't really matter. It simply matters that we lived. I have wonderful friends and family. My life is so rich and full and I have nothing to complain about. Nothing. This is a little blimp in my life. Yes, it hurt terribly, but it's minor in context. It's a lesson about what not to do to people you say you love and care about.

Thank you to all who cared. You have no idea how much it mattered/matters. And to Peter, Skeeter and Bob, thank you for coming to my rescue so quickly. I felt so lost and there you were. I don't even have words to express my gratitude. Yes, the post is long gone, but the words are forever in my memory. I love the three of you with all my heart. Thank you.

XO

Peter said...

Hi everyone (should do it!)

Suze,

I think your coping skills are stronger than you think! See how you get through all this shit? Admittedly with help from your friends, but isn't that how the song goes??

And my word, I'm gonna have to get a HUGE apartment in Paris. Do you think I could rent the Louvre??

Px

Suzanne said...

Peter,

I love you. This is a new day, but I've been up all night because I had to cancel my 7:30 CAT Scan and was so afraid I'd miss it and flake. I'm so tired I don't even know what to do. What day is this?

I'm taking my doctor's advice and enjoying my life more. She inisisted I had to. So see, I'm blogging in the morning. Oh, that's right, I'm not supposed to be blogging. Jeasus Christ, I can't win.

She also said I had to do something nice for myself every day. I went to the second hand shop the other day after feeding the ferals and bought a wonderful book intitled "Family, The Ties That Bind and Gag!" written by Erma Bombeck. It's too funny and only cost me $2! I read a little of it every day and laugh my ass off. If I can laugh myself out of this mess, I'll be fine.

And honey, if you rent the Louvre, I'm moving to Paris. How do you spell roommate? And seriously, if you do end up in Paris, I think your guest list is going to be very long, so be prepared. Have good coffee and a decent futon! Oh, and internet service would help too because you know how we all love to yap. Oh, and Kylie, Leah and Cece are going to bring the kids, so have some Flintstone vitamins for the moms.

Love you baby. Perhaps my coping skills are better than I thought, but only because working through everything with all of you helped me find my way. And yes, as the Beetles said "I get by with a little help from my friends." But weren't they referring to drugs?!

Have a beautiful day my dear friend. I love you. And thank you for everything. Honestly. It's night time isn't it. Okay, have a wonderful night.

XO

Leah said...

Yes, drugs!!!! See my comment on your blog... ; )

INNER VOICES said...

starting to catch up here... im not sure which post you are talkin bout but i'm still trying to go back and figure it out. nothing was ever directed at you, never did i say a bad word about your accident or your driving, im not sure what transpired between you and csi but my rant was not about drivers, driving or any of the like...

*clicks back to voices to furthur research the weekends havoc*