As a result of all these holiday parties, some of us are experiencing a major sugar high. Put down the candy canes! Do not stick another cookie in your mouth! Drop those chocolates right now! There's a line at the bathroom that is going out the door here at the Wild Onion. No one can order anything off the menu because they can't see anymore! And there's a bunch of zombified people wandering around aimlessly.
We need to stop eating so much sugar! We need help! We need some broccoli!
Who can save us? We need a vegetarian! SUZANNE!!!
25 comments:
Bah Humbug
I can offer some sliced cucumbers.
We just had chicken and spinach. YUM!
Bob, I'm warning you... :)
I just bring it all home and give it to the kid. He can still burn it off quick.
Maybe not the best parenting tactic...
maybe not the best parenting tactic but one that i use as well...
party poopers....
i'm with bob
Hi Kylie.
hi bob
Hey......does beer have too much sugar?
Hi Bob!
Hi Leah!
Hi Cece!
Hi Megan!
Hi Kylie!
Hi Queen Goob!
word verification: mofuk
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
just bob = nofuk
OH Please! They make special toys for that.
Bob made me think a bit about my sugar high.....is there too much sugar in sausage?
HI RC!
word verification = ingsi
is that like the ingsi, bingsi pee-pee?
Hi RC! Hi Goob!
Hi Everybody,
I think I need more Sugar...*opens 2 sugar packets...dumps sugar on back of hand...licks sugar off...jumps off barstool and runs to disco room to boogie* YeeHaw!!
Okay, I'm back, but just for a few minutes. The last few days have been hell. As most of you know I'm an honored recipent at the awards ceremony called Our Pathetic Economic Downturn. Yup, you also known I'M OUT ONE HELL OF A LOT OF MONEY AT 49 "YOU F&C^!N% ASSHOLES," and have no clue how to get it back, so have been consulting with my private banker, Citibank, Wells Fargo, Washington Mutual (I don't think Washington Mutual exists any longer because they went belly up, right? But I called customer service and talked to a lovely lady who told me our "conversation is being recorded." I asked "Why? What the hell did I do wrong? I just gave your bank my freakin' MONEY AND MY HOUSE AND TRUSTED YOU, ASSHOLE (but it's not her fault)!!!!" And Citibank was bought out by Wells Fargo and some other freakin' bank, so when I got off the phone with Wells Fargo and called Citibank, I swear to God I thought I was still talking to Wells Fargo. *Rights PPT and spits mud out "Damn, never saw that puddle."* Blottie needs some water. Oh, and I think a bath. Tries to fluff green dress and flick all the muck off pink trench coat. She can be heard saying "Oh dear Lord, my ceral box got wet, how will I save it?"
Oh, and RC, don't worry honey, that isn't a sugar high, that's just the onset of menopause. Good luck with that! And yes, my darling sweet soul, a vegetarian to the rescue. Tonight I had zucchini sauteed with bulbous (I've always wanted to use that word!!!) scallions (about 2" in diameter) and fresh cherry tomatoes. I drizzled a bit of Meyer's Lemon oil over the top with some Herb Goat Cheese from Trader Joe's (my favorite Goat cheese in the world!). Yummy. I'm a simple woman, with simple needs. All I want is my money back and a decent meal. Oh, and I'd like to keep the really soft sheets, a warm blanket, a roof that stays over my head, a car that doesn't need a new engine, bottled spring water and plenty of room for the animals. Animals that don't argue. Animals that sleep through the night. And to be really frank, I'd like some free stuff! Why? Because I've never been the recipient of free stuff, but now that I barely have a retirement fund, I think free stuff would be quite nice! *Starts cleaning closet to make room.*
Love the post, love the comments! Hi dear friends!!!
Hi Bob!
Hi Leah!
Hi Cece!
Hi Megan!
Hi Megan Again!
Hi Kylie!
Hi Kylie Again!
Hi Just Bob Again!
Hi Kylie Again!
Hi Queen Goob!
Hi RC!
Hi Just Bob Again!
Hi Cece Again!
Hi Queen Goob Again!
Hi Megan!
Well, that's just pathetic.
;) Just kidding. Love you all and thanks for the laugh. I knew coming here would matter and you'd fix me. Now RC please fix that sentence. How do you say "I knew coming here..." properly. I hate sounding like a porn star. Wow, that gives me an idea. Geriatric Porn. Think I can make a million before I'm 55?!!! I would NEVER. You all know me, but that was just too funny not to say!! My one and only client...Bob. Wow,he's gonna have to secure a really, really good job!!! Bob, I'm kidding!!! You are absolutely not expected to fund my retirement, however much you might want to. *Continues looking through yellow pages for free stuff.*
What? I'm thinking outside the box.
Forgot. Sorry Giggie.
HI GIG!!!!!
Oh, I dunno about this one, kids. Need um much candy during holidays. And NO broccoli flavored stuff either!!!
Skeeter
Your meal sounds delicious Suzy! Can I call you Suzy? It just feels right. Anyway, I'm going to go get me some of that Meyer Lemon Oil...I have a new Trader Joe's just a few blocks away. Also, if I find some free stuff I will certainly send it your way!
And p.s., I think I'm putting my glasses back on. I really cannot see a damn thing.
DANG IT!!! No Trader Joe's in Hicksville.
Hey guys? Suz wants some free stuff so Leah and i think we should do a girt swap. Take a looksee at the gift swap I just finished and see if it's something you guys wanna partake in.
I laughed marse off just putting it together. A much needed laugh if I don't say so myself.
Hi Bob!
Hi Leah!
Hi Cece! ( I typed Coco first but didn't want you to think I thought you were a porn star so I corrected the spelling.)
Hi Megan!
Hi Kylie!
Hi RC
Hi Suz! (love that fabulous green dress by the way)
Hi Gig!
Hi Skeeter!
Hi IV.....IV? Hey, where is he?
*takes sugar bowl away from suz*
whats a crackin here kids?!?!?!
too much sugar eh?
heh heh..
I would totally love a Cafe gift swap. How do we decide who gets who?
Leah,
You can of course call me Suzy! I love it! And you are correct my dear woman, that is a great meal. Now for the bad news. Meyer Lemon Olive Oil isn't sold at Trader Joe's. Only the herb goat cheese is.
The goat cheese is, believe it or not, is distributed by an importer in Montclair, NJ, so most likely available in your store. It's called Silver Goat Chevre ~ Garlic & Herb. It's also available plain. I've never tried the plain because I'm addicted to the garlic & herb. It comes in an 8oz log, which is about 6 inches long, so a good size. I've often wasted half to a quarter of it because I can't eat it all before I think soft cheese should be disgarded. Rob has often said "Sue, that is a ridiculous waste of money." I agree, so I decided to cut a log into 5 portions and freeze it (I wrapped each portion in plastic wrap then place them in a freezer bag. Guess what?! It worked beautifully. No more wasted goat cheese.
Now for the lemon oil. I buy it at Safeway. I don't think you have Safeway on the east coast. Just a few months ago it was $10 for a small bottle, but recently went up to nearly $15. But it's worth every cent because it lasts. I've had my current bottle for about 4 months and it still has a least an inch of oil in it. I use it mostly on salad. I'd never cook with it for fear I'd lose the gorgeous flavor, but I've drizzled it over pasta and Rob's also loves it on fish and shrimp. It's a stunny oil. Even lovely for dunking good bread. It's made just a few miles away in Santa Rosa, so I'm not sure it's distributed back east. The company has a website (I haven't accessed it, but will) at www.astioliveoil.com. Check it out. I haven't found any other company making Meyer Lemon Olive Oil, so this one's probably your best bet.
Good luck and have fun!
Love you dear,
Suzy
P.S. Still cleaning closet for free stuff I'm about to recieve. Thanks for helping my cause. ;) XO
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