Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Grand Opening




Today is the grand opening of The Wild Onion Cafe. The old Brian's Cafe is now under new management and has undergone some serious renovations to better serve a broad base of customers. Many of you may be asking yourselves why The Wild Onion Cafe? It is because like us, Onions have layers. We will have a wide range of services to offer our customers, we will have once section for fine dinning at it's best for those who are more sophisticated and like to use big words. The checkered flag room is set up for our NASCAR enthusiasts. We have the Green room for those of you that prefer to recycle, and can't stand cruelly to animals. Oh and we also have the Peta Sucks room, for those of you that are the meat and potatoes type, and for the special customers that are on the Atkins diet. We have the Pickle room, for those of you who just came here for the booze. (This room comes equipped with a taxi service so that when you have a little Captain in you, you don't have to drive home.) And let's not forget the clientele that gave us our start, the Family Fun Room will be a special place for those wholesome few that are still left. It will be a place where you can bring you children and have a good clean family fun. Just don't let the kids wander into any of the other rooms. (Management is not responsible for permanent damaged which may be caused by wandering child syndrome.






Yeah, this will be the place where Beer Meets Cheese.



So don't be afraid to come on in and sit a spell, have some coffee, have some tea, hell have a drink or two with me.



This is a place where we all can play and we never have to worry about what we say.



No holds bar, anything goes, so come on Ya'll, let the good times roll.



Let's have some fun, lets have a blast, but most of all let's not pass gas.



39 comments:

Suzanne said...

I just walked in, smiled so wide I almosted busted a cheek. I walked through every room, got down on the floor, layed back, looked at the ceiling, exhaled and just started to laugh. Then I made snow angels. I'm happy. Happy, happy, happy.

*Gets up, goes to bar, slams fist firmly on it and says "A Latte with an Inner Voices Chaser please"* Let's get this show on the road!

XO

Gig said...

After a rough day at the hair place, it is time to work at the "checkered flag" room...

*sneaks into the "pickle room",* orders a shot of crown...*grins and says "I just love this Place"

XO

bindhiya said...

Suze,
what is "A Latte with an Inner Voices Chaser"???
did I miss something???

Suzanne said...

God this place is gonna be great! Gig's already "dippin'" into something and Bindi, I love lattes. Love, love, love them. Then Inner Voices blog came along, like a bad New York knat, and started trying to put stuff in my latte. I pushed him away for as long as I could, but now just enjoy when he comes around with his magic potions or just his beautiful, wacky humor. And honey, a "chaser" is a drink taken after a drink of another kind. I use it as a metaphor, but also literally because that bad boy is always spiking drinks with Irish Whiskey! Did you notice that at Brian's Cafe?!

I love you sweetie. We'll chat soon. HUGE KISS AND HUG!!! Welcome to what you initially created!!! Without your idea this would never have come to fruition. XO

Suzanne said...

Cecile...I love you. Honestly. Thank you for this.

Gig said...

Cece,
This is great!! I love it and you for all your hard work! We all will have a great time here...not that we don't everywhere else.

Bindi started a great thing with the Cafe and now it will continue on!!

I am going to Traverse City today, (in about 4hrs, good thing I'm not driving). I will take some pics to post. Then you all will have to come visit!!

sweet dreams,
Gig

Suzanne said...

All I can say is it's a good thing Gig's not driving. She dipped into the sauce a number of times and I wouldn't trust her judgement.

XO

I agree, CeCe and Bindi, you're the best. Can't even imagine life without you. :)

Robyn said...

*pushes the door open...to see the whole gang there. They all turn, lift their glasses and latte cups!*

Fantastic concept! Love the whole onion metaphor Cecile! I am gonna like it here for sure!

*looks around to see if french maid outfit is hanging on the back of the door...*
Hugs,
Robyn

Leah said...

Hi peeps!

I walked around the streets for awhile in the general vicinity of the Cafe, wandered into a few other kinda lowbrow places by mistake until I found my way here. I love it! Do you mind if I plug in my laptop and do some schoolwork? I can work with noise around me. And I think I'll serve myself an iced coffee with an extra shot of espresso...hold the Inner Voices Chaser until after 4 p.m...

INNER VOICES said...

*pops hood down and opens jacket. slides long stainless flask out of trenchcoat secret pocket. opens it up and puts entire contents down the hatch.*

"now i'm ready for some breakfast!"

*goes into the back room, knocks three times on "hollow" sounding panel in wall, a rectangular slide opens up and visual verification is aquired. a small secret door opens up, techno music is heard and he walks in. a lingering smell of vanilla perfume and jack daniels is left in the air as the door closes.*

Cecile said...

You guys are fantastic. I am at work LMAO and the people are seriously beginning to think I'm crazy here. Wonderful first impression. I'll be back later to get some work done around the place. Until then..... Be good at whatever you do best.

INNER VOICES said...

*steps out from "nowhwere" and saunters up to the bar for a barmat shooter. reeks of perfume and has a thong sticking out of his coat pocket. gives the book worm on her computer a wink and sends her an inner voices special.*

INNER VOICES said...

*heads over to the juke box and puts on a pat benetar fav. starts dancing with himself out on the dance floor.*

Leah said...

*From a dimly lit corner, slightly illuminated only by the candlelight glow of the computer screen, raises a glass of Inner Voices Special to Inner Voices out on the dance floor.*

Suzanne said...

Hey, what about me buddy? Am I just chopped meat?

Who's gonna help me move this damn love seat back in?

Suzanne said...

Leah, for Christ sakes, snap out of it...your going to be having a baby. Don't be going all wonky on me. And lay off the booze lady. Oh, and stop holding that lamp.

Suzanne said...

whoops...computer.

Suzanne said...

Oh, and Leah, didjanotice you didn't make it till 4 pm? Hummmmmm.

Suzanne said...

And I.V.. You are a bad man. A bad, bad man. But you know what honey, now that the sofa's back in, why don't you lay down and relax. There you go. Yes, I know it's a bit small, but isn't that better. Why don't we just take that thong out of your pocket and get down to business. That'll be 500 bucks. Why? Because that should cover the the entry and damage fee.

Leah said...

Suzanne, it was 6:53 New York time! Or do we go by CA time in the Cafe. I think we have more West-Coasters then East, so maybe democratically we should be on Pacific Time. Or does the Cafe exist in its own time zone? I like that idea. Kind of Sci Fi.

Suzanne said...

Damn. Forgot about east coast time. Okay, let's discuss what time we'll go on!

XO

INNER VOICES said...

*gets off the dance floor to seperate the two young squabling ladies*

"ladies, ladies... theres enough to go round..."

*throws suzs "the look"*

"no need to point fingers, the love seat is in and clients are sitting on it, waiting for drinks and time doesnt exsist here. dont jah know?!?!?*

*does a little spin move move and sllllllides back up*

"cheese will be here soon, she likes to dance, we will set the carpet on fire!!!"



you kids thought you knew me. heh, we lit san fransico up!!!!!

weres my password cecile! i want next post!!!!

Suzanne said...

Well, well, well...my day's about to begin and I'm already tired. Ugh. I would like, very much, to slither into an outfit made of coffee beans. I honestly believe, that if I could, I would feel more alert. Does someone have a hot glue gun? Robyn? Or can someone knit or crochet those suckers to something? Leah? Leah, stop dancing and listen to me. God, you're encouragable. I'm going to call a taxi for you if you don't knock it off. CECILE, can Leah get her own room? She's never going to write if she's dancin' all the time and holdin' that damn lamp.

Inner Voices...dude, if you're going to seperate two "squabblers," you're going to have to spell the word right first. Ahhhhhhhh, we wasn't squabblin, just test wrestlin'.

What look? The one that says "git" or the one that says "come on over?" Well of course I'm laughing. Yeah, like in a gazillion years!


Time doesn't exist here. I like that and "does a little spin move..." I can feel it honey. You should be on Dancing with the Stars. We'd all be cheering you on. When you win, throw the cafe your spare change.

And Cheese, here honey, sit down on the love seat and relax. I know you must work your butt off at home. Can we get you anything? This love seat is the best. I bought it at Macy's and paid a whopping $1,400 for it. It's a Tuxedo (classic style) and worth every penny. (Really, I actually own this over priced piece of crap!)

This establishment is carpet free. Right Cecile? We're eco-friendly. Hardwood only. I.V. and Cheese, bring your own rug. And Cecile, don't give him the password, that is just trouble with a capital T.

Oh, by the way, after removing the thong, I found Robyn's French outfit tucked in his pocket. Robyn, I've kindly placed it back on the hook after laundering it on gentle. There ya go girl.

TOOT-A-LOOH XO

Gig said...

Wow!!! Been gone for a day and the joint is hoppin!! Look at the tips I'm missing...

*went to punch in, but didn't know which room I'm workig in*
Suze, I want to be where the "action" is, ok?


I am off to my day job,
see ya'll later...

*closes back door, wondering what will be happening today at the Cafe*

Suzanne said...

Gig, we don't have a back door. What the hell'd you just walk through?

Suzanne said...

UPDATE

I just talked to Cecile. She called to tell me she and the family are okay. As many of you know tornadoes have touched down in the midwest. I was worried about Skeeter in OK and wrote to him because CNN indicated the tornadoes were going to pass right through his house. I still haven't heard from him. CNN mentioned nothing about Arkansas, so I though CeCe was fine until I looked on the map and thought, how can it be there and not there? Well, it was there and they had a horrifying night. They're all okay and safe, but traumatized, as you might imagine. Their house is fine and they're fine. They spent the night in an neighbor's basement. She wanted me to assure you she's okay and you don't need to worry. She has no internet, no electric, etc., so will get back to us as soon as the utility company cooperates.

I know most of you have never spoken to her, but she has the kindest, sweetest, child-like voice you can ever imagine. Oh, and she has a Southern accent! She's so precious! I finish talking to her and I feel as if I've just dipped myself in candy. I love that woman. To death.

Let's raise a glass of anything we're drinking to Cecile. Return safely dear friend.

XO

Gig said...

Thanks Suze for the news, I have been at my "real job" all day and had not heard any news. I am relieved to know they are safe and that you spoke to her.

What a great place this is going to be, another way to make sure all our dear friends are all ok!


I thought it was the Back Door, maybe it wasn't...maybe it is a secret room...shhh...

*dances up to bar, says " it's been a long day, I'll take a shot of Crown Royal with a chaser, please"...smiling and looking around to see what is happening tonight*

Suzanne said...

Ahhhhhhhhhh, she's safe and so are the kids, dog and hubby. The houses all around look like hell, but there's looks pretty good. I'm waiting to see her house on the news. I've yet to hear from Skeeter and that concerns me. He would never not reply. NEVER.

I'm scared.

bindhiya said...

Oh Suze,
I didn't know that we were in tornado watch yesterday! I don't watch any news..
today only i know about all that.. Brian was up all night..I slept good with my little one... it was raining and I thought am going to get my little one to sleep and will come back to be in the rain for a bit.. but I slept with my baby.. Brian stayed up all night :))

Cecile I will talk to you tomorrow..it is too late to wake you up..

Ok, stop by my place for a little smile...there is another video...enjoy!!! (sure i'll delete..)

and wild cafe have the first award there...

Suze, don't drink latte with wild stuff too much.. :))

Suzanne said...

I spelled their's "there's." That's just pathetic!

Suzanne said...

Gig,

I was so busy today I didn't watch any news, but was walking through the living room this morning and saw a map of the Midwest on CNN with lots of colors on it and thought "That doesn't look good," so I stopped and listened. The focus wasn't on Arkansas, but on Oklahoma, so I immediately wrote to Skeeter. I still haven't heard from him. When I looked at the map and saw the direction of the tornadoes I remember thinking, "How can it not hit Arkansas?" Seriously. But there was no mention of Arkansas. I wasn't suprised when Cecile called, just grateful. I knew it was going to happen. Now we just have to hear from Skeeter.

You'll laugh, but Cecile's biggest concern was the spiders in the basement. She started to freak out! I said "Honey, why didn't you just vacuum before you went down there?" She replied "It isn't my basement...we were in the neighbor's basement." There ya go! Plan ahead.

You know what Gig, this is going to be a great place. I love it here. I seriously think it's going to be around for as long as we live. Too bad Brian has no idea what he did for us by taking that test. You know what made me laugh really hard? When Robyn showed up! It was like an old western movie...the saloon door smacks open and she walked in. I could not stop laughing for the life of me.

Yeah, that nonexistant back door. We're going to have to put a real one in. Fire code violation if we don't. Honey, I don't know what the hell you walked through, but it must have hurt. Just a little. But I guess if you have enough Crown Royal you don't feel much.

We're missin' our "chaser." Where is that boy? It's sort of funny just sittin' here on the love seat waiting for him to dance on that little rug. He has some smooth moves and plays good music. I'll sit here awhile and wait. It's slow tonight and it's nice to regroup. Why does this cushion feel lumpy?

Suzanne said...

Bindi,

I was going to call you, but it was too late. I'm glad you're all okay. At least you have electricity! Cecile called me from a parking lot. They were out buying fast food and just trying to cope. It didn't sound like a lot of fun, but I was happy everyone was okay. You too. I've been through two major earthquakes in CA and am familiar with shear terror. It isn't fun. Hopefully we'll hear from Skeeter soon. I didn't watch the news so don't know what happened in Oklahoma, but he hasn't written, so I'm worried. I'm just hoping he lost electric. I'll watch the news in the morning. Oh, that's right, it is morning! Why am I up!!!??? Damn perimenopause!

Don't worry sweetie, I don't drink latte with anything extra generally. I'm a pretty natural girl! Go straight for the caffeine like any other addict! Stop by when you have a few minutes. We'll sit in the "family area" with Serene and have a bit to eat and some nice tea. The chef here is terrific. I don't know his/her name yet, but I got a nice salad the other day that just tickled my tummy.

Love you sweetie,
Suze

Leah said...

Oh, there's a family area? I'll stop by with Hedgehog--she'd love to meet Serene! Hi Bindi--nice to meet you!

So, will there be cupcakes in the family room?

Suzanne said...

Of course there's a family area!!! Cecile designed that area first! This is going to be self-serve until Cecile gets the tornado out of her hair, but we'll be just fine. Gig should be here soon and so should Robyn. I'll bake some cupcake. Pink cupcakes for everyone!!! (Is there such a thing? If not, I'll invent one!) Off to feed the ferals. Bring the kids and have some fun. I'll see you when I get back.

XO

Cecile said...

Sure there are cupcakes in the family room, and in the Green room you can purchase so special cupcakes, but they are not listed on the menue. You have to ask for them by secret code. You know, "Have you got any "SPECIAL" cupcakes?" That's the secret code. So pass word, do I have to set each of you up with a password or do I just give out my general password? I'm sot sure how to do the team thing. If anyone knows, let me know. Power came back on around 8:30 pm last night, but I was passed out from sheer exaustion. I slept for almost 14 hours. I guess Thursday night took more out of me than I thought. I woke up this morning and felt like I plowed a football stadium with a mule and plow. My arms are sore, my plantars faciatus is killing me, and my head feels very heavy, but a nice hot shower will do me good. Going to have lunch with some old friends (and my family) and then who knows after that. We have added a new sports bar that includes several large screen T.V.s and we have Direct T.V. with all the added sports packages, just to please everyone. Just walk through the Checkered flag room and pass the beaded curtains and there you will find the sports haven of the U.S. I have also added a dance hall, just for I.V. and Cheese. It is all punked out with a disco ball and everything stylish for that 70's couple. Every enjoy the day. It's shower time for me before I start to smell like Wild Onions. LOL.

Suzanne said...

Hurray! The Tornado Queen is back!!! Honey, did you write in the dark or where you tippin' one back with Gig? You're spelling sucks! That's the beauty of a "comment," you can't edit. It's there for all the world to see. Forever. Well, of course not if you delete. Don't delete. It's too funny.

I had to read the "plowing a football field..." to Rob. I got to laugh really hard twice! He said to tell you he hopes you're okay. I told him you were because you showed up at the "Onion," but he was still a bit concerned. So honey, Rob wants to know if you're okay? (SHE'S OKAY ALREADY!)

Sorry to hear you're sore and stinky. That's gonna take a long shower to remedy. Also, so sad to hear you have plantars faciatus. I know how painful (I spelled it paintful initially ~ that's too funny) it is. My neighbor has it and she's always limping, and I was diagnosed with it a few months ago. I'll tell you the story of my right foot when I have more time. It's too funny. What we both found is if you wear the softest, most cushion like shoe, you survive. If not, you die! All the experts try to shove those hard insoles at you, but that isn't the answer. We wear the softest flip flops and the softest running shoes on the planet...and we're still alive to tell you the secret! I walk into the Podiatrists office with flip flops on and a hush is audible when the staff passes out.

I don't know about the password thing. I just know I.V. is chompin' at the bit. I'm scared! Are all our lurkers going to have to RUN FOR THE HILLS!? I bet Mark would know how to do it. Let's ask Mark. Mark, are you reading this? Help! Oh and honey, easy on the cupcakes...we don't want to be shut down before we barely open! Let's use green food coloring to keep them seperate.

Love the addition of the sports bar and dance hall. Go Bruins, Go Red Sox, Go Patriots!!! That should cover it. Someone just walked through the beads and made sure they smacked me right in the face. GIG!!! (One day that woman and I are gonna tussle and guaranteed, I'm gonna send her and her apron into next year!)

Now that we have a dance hall where do we place the love seat? In the dance hall? Watching I.V. entertain himself is rather sexy from the sofa. If Cheese shows up, we're done for! We'll just all be in there gawking! I think it should be in the dance hall. I think we may also need more seating. That expensive piece of crap isn't adequate. It's not like a VW Bug you can fit 50 college students in, so yes, I think we'll need additional seating. Oh, we'll also need cards with numbers from 1-10 because of course we'll all be judging. Okay, who's going to WalMart? Okay, who has money? Is anybody working around here or is this just self-serve? Cecile...give us the rules!

XO

bindhiya said...

Hi Leah,
Nice to meet you!
Sure they can play... and we can chat.. I'll visit your place soon.. am so busy with so many things.. so soon i will be there..
let's have some tea..

Jim said...

where is the Pizza recipe?

Jim said...

r u in California?
most Indians prefer CA for the climate